1) "Whoopi, I tell ya, I'm feelin' more and more like a minority myself!" Just who is counseling Blago these days? Positioning yourself as the "anti-Nixon" and saying "Play the tapes!" ain't bad when you're in a ditch. Of course, after citing Mandela, Dr. King and the Mahatma, he reportedly went on to mention "Ray Milland, Aleister Crowley, Dylan Thomas, Che, Walt Whitman, Keith Moon, James Dean, Sonny Corleone, Allen Ginsburg, Carrot Top and Gummo Marx."
2) "Where is the girl I used to know?" After too many days of mindless cable news punditry about the whole Caroline K. fiasco, social commentator Artie Lange gets it all in one succinct sentence: "She is not good at the game 'cause she never played the game." [The Howard Stern Show 1-22-09]
3) From the "Hey! Didn't you used to be somebody?" Dept. : Former Rep. Dick Armey, moments before personally insulting Salon's Joan Walsh on MSNBC's "Hardball [1-28-09]," defined "this thing of ours" thus: "Politics is juvenile delinquency....Don't let politics define anything. It's silly, inane." Dickster, leave yourself out of this!
4) "Of course, Lord Vader. At once, Lord Vader." When it comes to looking like a quisling, you just can't beat Georgia GOP Rep. Phil Gingrey's bowing and begging for Rush Limbaugh's forgiveness. Don't worry Phil, he had no idea who you were two days ago, and he's not hoping you fail.
5) Can you say "contested primary?" Note to Gov. Dave P.: If someone invites you "up to the Vineyard," just say you're busy. We hear that's the last invite Judge Crater got.
6) Voices of Reason (yes, it's a short list): Former GOP Rep. J. C. Watts, quoted in this week's E.J. Dionne column [WP 1-26-09], cautioning his former Republican House mates on their approach to the new Administration: "Be careful how you throw eggs at this parade."
7) Hey Trotsky! Lighten up, dude. The Daily Kos' Markos Moulitsas goes after Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine for taking the DNC chair while remaining governor: "Running a party should be a full-time job, and anything less than that is not giving the job what it deserves." Something tells us that long before you were even born, there were guys (and gals) holding office, running the party, making a living and whatever else had to be done. Not a problem. Really. It's okay.
8) Yeah, I guess he was right: Eliot Cohen's thoughtful piece on government and punditry in last week's WSJ [1-23-09] begins: "'You become a political scientist,' a beloved teacher of mine once said, 'because you're either afraid of power, or fascinated by it.'"
9) Things you don't hear in Washington: Ms. Oprah (I could be a Senator if I wanted to but, I don't want to) Winfrey, to her television show guests the day before the Inauguration: "Don't we all feel like we are sort of vibrating?" "It's buzzing," offered Ashton Kutcher. "I'm shaking," said wife Demi.
10) Let's hope we never hear these three names in the same sentence again: According to political history scribes at the WP [1-22 & 1-23-09], President Obama now becomes the seventh president to have re-taken the oath of office for some reason or another. Also on the list, "Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur."
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Even Richard Nixon has got soul" - from Neil Young's "Campaigner"
1) So long, it's been (somethin', somethin') to know you... Geez Georgie, there you were surrounded by staff and family, explaining the last eight years, and no sooner do you finish then ABC starts running an episode of "Scrubs." Ouch. It was almost like it didn't happen. Hey Georgie, when things calm down we'll catch up for lunch, okay. You take care now, Georgie.
2) "Here's a little ditty by a young dude named Yeats and it goes like this..." Blago Agonistes. C'mon, face it, you all know he's only guilty of one thing - political malpractice. Or, as former Louisiana Gov. Earl Long put it: "Don't write anything you can phone, don't phone anything you can talk face to face, don't talk anything you can smile, don't smile anything you can wink and don't wink anything you can nod." [Hey Mr. Prosecutor, good luck with that whole "jury of his peers" thing.]
3) Chauncey Gardiner goes to Washington (again): Seventy-one-year-old Roland Burris comes to town, stays cool, stares down his fellow Democrats, stays on message, and wins. Hey Harry Reid, we got your post-racial politics right here! Burris for Senate 2010.
4) Wasn't it called "Andersonville?" Conservative talking head Larry Schweikart, author of "48 Liberal Lies," on Fox 1-13-09: "If there was a Gitmo in his time, [President Abraham] Lincoln would not have shut it."
5) Pearls of Washington Wisdom #485: Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey explaining what it's like to be in the minority party in the Senate: "The chairman [of a committee] - especially with 58 to 59 in the voting caucus - drives the car and chooses the destination. The ranking [minority member] rides shotgun on a good day. On a bad day, he or she is in a carpool with the chairman's staff." [Wash. Post 1-13-09]
6) Forget "Political Science," let's just start calling it "Political Math": Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel to the RNC, explains a contested election: "The position of candidates in disputed elections depends on whether one is perceived as ahead or behind in the vote count. The tactic of someone who is ahead is to declare victory and create an air of inevitability. The tactic of someone behind is to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the opponent's claim." [Wash. Post 1-7-09]
7) Worst campaign slogan of the year so far: Terry McAuliffe's anouncement that he would be running for Governor of Virginia included the words "Yes, we can do it again this year."
8) R.I.P. former Rhode Island Sen. Claiborne Pell, at age 90: Diplomat, investment banker and wise old pol. A man from another time, back when you could truthfully utter the words, "I yield to the gentleman from Rhode Island." Looking back on his 1960 race for the Senate decades later, Pell recounted, "My opponent called me a cream puff...Well, I rushed out and got the bakers' union to endorse me."
9) From the "What passes for political commentary these days" Department: This whole Ann Coulter "thing" - Since when does anyone have to get their nose rubbed in the marketplace of ideas by someone who's never even gotten a street paved? Whatever happened to good old fashioned shunning? Quick, Food Channel, give her a cooking show!
10) What Lyndon knew and when he knew it: From the LBJ tapes archive [CBS News 12-4-08], the President calls VP Hubert Humphrey and urges him to pick Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye as his 1968 running mate: "He answers Vietnam with that empty sleeve. He answers your problems with Nixon with that empty sleeve. He has that brown face...The South can't get mad at him because he's colored. And he would appeal to every other minority because he is one." HHH replied that the move would, well, "I guess maybe it just takes me a little bit too far, too fast."
2) "Here's a little ditty by a young dude named Yeats and it goes like this..." Blago Agonistes. C'mon, face it, you all know he's only guilty of one thing - political malpractice. Or, as former Louisiana Gov. Earl Long put it: "Don't write anything you can phone, don't phone anything you can talk face to face, don't talk anything you can smile, don't smile anything you can wink and don't wink anything you can nod." [Hey Mr. Prosecutor, good luck with that whole "jury of his peers" thing.]
3) Chauncey Gardiner goes to Washington (again): Seventy-one-year-old Roland Burris comes to town, stays cool, stares down his fellow Democrats, stays on message, and wins. Hey Harry Reid, we got your post-racial politics right here! Burris for Senate 2010.
4) Wasn't it called "Andersonville?" Conservative talking head Larry Schweikart, author of "48 Liberal Lies," on Fox 1-13-09: "If there was a Gitmo in his time, [President Abraham] Lincoln would not have shut it."
5) Pearls of Washington Wisdom #485: Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey explaining what it's like to be in the minority party in the Senate: "The chairman [of a committee] - especially with 58 to 59 in the voting caucus - drives the car and chooses the destination. The ranking [minority member] rides shotgun on a good day. On a bad day, he or she is in a carpool with the chairman's staff." [Wash. Post 1-13-09]
6) Forget "Political Science," let's just start calling it "Political Math": Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel to the RNC, explains a contested election: "The position of candidates in disputed elections depends on whether one is perceived as ahead or behind in the vote count. The tactic of someone who is ahead is to declare victory and create an air of inevitability. The tactic of someone behind is to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the opponent's claim." [Wash. Post 1-7-09]
7) Worst campaign slogan of the year so far: Terry McAuliffe's anouncement that he would be running for Governor of Virginia included the words "Yes, we can do it again this year."
8) R.I.P. former Rhode Island Sen. Claiborne Pell, at age 90: Diplomat, investment banker and wise old pol. A man from another time, back when you could truthfully utter the words, "I yield to the gentleman from Rhode Island." Looking back on his 1960 race for the Senate decades later, Pell recounted, "My opponent called me a cream puff...Well, I rushed out and got the bakers' union to endorse me."
9) From the "What passes for political commentary these days" Department: This whole Ann Coulter "thing" - Since when does anyone have to get their nose rubbed in the marketplace of ideas by someone who's never even gotten a street paved? Whatever happened to good old fashioned shunning? Quick, Food Channel, give her a cooking show!
10) What Lyndon knew and when he knew it: From the LBJ tapes archive [CBS News 12-4-08], the President calls VP Hubert Humphrey and urges him to pick Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye as his 1968 running mate: "He answers Vietnam with that empty sleeve. He answers your problems with Nixon with that empty sleeve. He has that brown face...The South can't get mad at him because he's colored. And he would appeal to every other minority because he is one." HHH replied that the move would, well, "I guess maybe it just takes me a little bit too far, too fast."
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
"You know, she and Jerry were a big thing. Like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd." - Kosmo Kramer
1)Is that all there is? Hey Gov. Richardson! Congrats on becoming Secretary of St...um, I mean, Secretary of Commerce...yeah, hey, it's not that much of a difference, ya know...still in the Cabinet and all, yep, hey, who needs all that press attention and international headaches and all anyway, right? Still, you know, wouldn't it be ironic if back in the spring Ob kinda thought you were a Judas too? I mean, I'm just sayin', that would be ironic!
2) Why we miss him: Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, on Lame Duck sessions of Congress: "In my 35 years in Congress, I have probably been through 15 or 16 lame-duck sessions. They are always a mess, accomplish little or nothing and wind up being an embarassment to everybody. One time I think I got rolled by Newt and the House guys. And it was a mess." [NYT 11-21-08]
3) That's "K Street," with a "D": Peter Metzger, vice chair of recruiting firm CT Partners, on the rush for K Street lobbying forms to dump their GOP executives and hire Democratic staffers: "People who need to get something done know what the price of a drink is. This may sound teribbly Washington, but access trumps expertise." [WSJ 11-25-08] Yes, it does, but that's okay.
4) Remember when all you had to worry about was whether they paid taxes on the help? Among the possible contenders for a slot on the Federal Communications Commission in the new Obama Administration is University of Pennsylvania business professor Kevin Werbach, a self-professed player of the virtual-reality game, "World of Warcraft." According to Werbach, he plays bcause it's "fun" and "because I believe MMOGs [massively multiplayer online games] will be one of the primary forms of social software for the next decade." [NYPost 11-22-08] Hey Kevin, better keep this to yourself. Members of Congress are still trying to understand the concept of "bowling alone."
5) Best post-election commentary: Tom Korologos in the NYT [1-23-08], offering up his "Memo" to the incoming White House staff. Among his pointers, "If you feel you won't have time to talk when you return a call, place the call before 9 a.m., or during the lunch period, or after 6 p.m. Chances are good the caller will be out, but you will get credit for returning the call." So, politics is really just about life skills. I knew it!
6) Never let them see behind the curtain: "There are no illusions here." The comment of an anonymous insider on the appointment of former Biden COS Ted Kaufman to take the Senator's open Senate seat until the 2010 special election, when Joe Biden III will be free to run. Just as long as the Chair doesn't address him as "Senator place holder."
7) So we're guessing he's not running ever again: According to the WP's "In The Loop" column [WP 11-26-08], defeated Pennsylvania Rep. Phil English "shuttered his offices and has been turning away constituent work, even though he and his staff remain on the federal payroll until January," including abandoning the process of recommending candidates for the military service academies, leaving those young people and their parents hanging.
8) More evience that political skills are learned in high school: Henry Waxman dethrones John Dingell from Chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. As Rep. Mike Doyle (D., Pa.) explained, "You bumped into a lot of freshmen who said Mr. Waxman was very good to them. The freshman and the sophomore class didn't know John or had never served with him. It's a sad ending for someone who's given so much of his life to the Democratic Party, the Congress and the country. He deserved better." [NYT 11-23-08] Or, as Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D., Ohio) put it: "Right at the moment I'm weeping for the heartland. It's Hollywood versus Detroit - I mean, think about it." [WSJ 11-21-08]
9) So, you get that's sort of why you lost, right? John Raese, GOP opponent who failed to defeat West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd in 2006: "Seemed like when we were in our campaign bus, and every highway and road was named after him - that's a lot of advertising." [WP 11-20-08]
10) Life in the other Democracies: After Polish Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski was quoted as saying "Have you heard that Obama may have a Polish connection? His grandfather ate a Polish missionary," a spokesperson for the Polish foreign office explained, "Mr. Sikorski did not tell a racist joke. He was only giving an example of the unpalatable and racist 'jokes' that surround President Elect Obama." [Telegraph.co.uk 11-18-08]
2) Why we miss him: Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, on Lame Duck sessions of Congress: "In my 35 years in Congress, I have probably been through 15 or 16 lame-duck sessions. They are always a mess, accomplish little or nothing and wind up being an embarassment to everybody. One time I think I got rolled by Newt and the House guys. And it was a mess." [NYT 11-21-08]
3) That's "K Street," with a "D": Peter Metzger, vice chair of recruiting firm CT Partners, on the rush for K Street lobbying forms to dump their GOP executives and hire Democratic staffers: "People who need to get something done know what the price of a drink is. This may sound teribbly Washington, but access trumps expertise." [WSJ 11-25-08] Yes, it does, but that's okay.
4) Remember when all you had to worry about was whether they paid taxes on the help? Among the possible contenders for a slot on the Federal Communications Commission in the new Obama Administration is University of Pennsylvania business professor Kevin Werbach, a self-professed player of the virtual-reality game, "World of Warcraft." According to Werbach, he plays bcause it's "fun" and "because I believe MMOGs [massively multiplayer online games] will be one of the primary forms of social software for the next decade." [NYPost 11-22-08] Hey Kevin, better keep this to yourself. Members of Congress are still trying to understand the concept of "bowling alone."
5) Best post-election commentary: Tom Korologos in the NYT [1-23-08], offering up his "Memo" to the incoming White House staff. Among his pointers, "If you feel you won't have time to talk when you return a call, place the call before 9 a.m., or during the lunch period, or after 6 p.m. Chances are good the caller will be out, but you will get credit for returning the call." So, politics is really just about life skills. I knew it!
6) Never let them see behind the curtain: "There are no illusions here." The comment of an anonymous insider on the appointment of former Biden COS Ted Kaufman to take the Senator's open Senate seat until the 2010 special election, when Joe Biden III will be free to run. Just as long as the Chair doesn't address him as "Senator place holder."
7) So we're guessing he's not running ever again: According to the WP's "In The Loop" column [WP 11-26-08], defeated Pennsylvania Rep. Phil English "shuttered his offices and has been turning away constituent work, even though he and his staff remain on the federal payroll until January," including abandoning the process of recommending candidates for the military service academies, leaving those young people and their parents hanging.
8) More evience that political skills are learned in high school: Henry Waxman dethrones John Dingell from Chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. As Rep. Mike Doyle (D., Pa.) explained, "You bumped into a lot of freshmen who said Mr. Waxman was very good to them. The freshman and the sophomore class didn't know John or had never served with him. It's a sad ending for someone who's given so much of his life to the Democratic Party, the Congress and the country. He deserved better." [NYT 11-23-08] Or, as Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D., Ohio) put it: "Right at the moment I'm weeping for the heartland. It's Hollywood versus Detroit - I mean, think about it." [WSJ 11-21-08]
9) So, you get that's sort of why you lost, right? John Raese, GOP opponent who failed to defeat West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd in 2006: "Seemed like when we were in our campaign bus, and every highway and road was named after him - that's a lot of advertising." [WP 11-20-08]
10) Life in the other Democracies: After Polish Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski was quoted as saying "Have you heard that Obama may have a Polish connection? His grandfather ate a Polish missionary," a spokesperson for the Polish foreign office explained, "Mr. Sikorski did not tell a racist joke. He was only giving an example of the unpalatable and racist 'jokes' that surround President Elect Obama." [Telegraph.co.uk 11-18-08]
Monday, November 17, 2008
Team of Rivals? More like the time the Bowery Boys went into business with the Plug Uglies. Or when Lyndon had that talk with Hubert
1) The Queen's Gambit: What an excellent opening move. Don't look into their eyes! Just ride along on the artistry of the thought processes. Like jazz, if you have to have politics explained to you, you'll never understand.
2) Post-Post-Post-Modern Politics: Interviewed 11-10-08 on Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin says, "I consider myself too a feminist. Whatever that means." Please someone, hurry with that book deal.
3) Rudy Loses Mojo: Speaking in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, this week, Rudy Giuliani says he will consider the New York governor's race and won't rule out running for president again. Hey man, thanks for letting us know. But don't you think you should be home in like, let's says, Elmira, talkin' about these things of ours? Did anyone catch you on camera there? With a lot of suits and robes? I'm just sayin', it might make for a good campaign spot for somebody.
4) So, like so much else in this life, you have to have a taste for it: Fomer Carmel, California, Mayor Clint Eastwood, on running for office in the future: "Not a chance. I enjoyed being mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to BS people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style."[NYP 11-9-08]
5) Hurry Sundown: Karl Rove's "History Favors Republicans in 2010" [WSJ 11-13-8] had us perk up our ears to listen. Pretty good until you get to the start of the last graph: "In politics, good years follow bad years." Uh, excuse us giant brain, but you haven't been reading your Francis Fukuyama. You see, there was this election in 2006, and, well..........
6) The answer to the question, "Are today's presidential campaigns just too darn long?" Michael Barone, speaking to a post-election crowd at the Palmer House Hilton in Chicago [Politico.com 11-11-08]: "The liberal media attacked Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down syndrome baby. They wanted her to kill that child....I'm talking about my media colleagues with whom I've worked for 35 years." Or as Kevin McCarthy put it in the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers, "They're here! They're here I tell you! They're here!"
7) Honey, do you want the Hungry Man Meat Loaf tonight or this stack of twenties? A tip of the hat to Louisiana's Rep. Wiliam Jefferson, who, although under indictment on bribery charges, won enough votes to avoid a runoff. Hello 10th term! You know, it really is true what they tell you about the importance of constituent service.
8) Hey Ralphie! Ralphie! What've you been up to? Ralph Nader has requested that President-elect Barack Obama allow third-party presidential candidates - himself, Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party, Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party, and Cynthia McKinney of the Green Party - to be included in the inaugural festivities. Hey Raphie! Just who should pay for that? According to Nader, "In other Western European countries, it's a political courtesy to have their competitors. It's a demonstration of unity." Hey Ralphie, nice try, but you know, if he invites you he's gotta invite Alan Keyes and whatnot, and then it just get's silly. I know you understand. [WP 11-14-08]
9) Best shot from the hip explaining why Sarah Palin can't go away: Veteran GOP California operative and now head of the University of Southern California's Institute of Politics, Dan Schnur, to the WP's Howard Kurtz [11-13-08]: "Feed the media beast or it's going to feed on you."
10) Most inspiring line of the week: Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, speaking to his fellow GOP governors in Miami [Politico.com]: "I have looked down at the grave of the Republican Party and this ain't it. I've seen it a lot worse." I'm sorry, but that's the kind of thing you tell Clyde Barrow when he asks, "Tell me Doc, how bad is it?"
2) Post-Post-Post-Modern Politics: Interviewed 11-10-08 on Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin says, "I consider myself too a feminist. Whatever that means." Please someone, hurry with that book deal.
3) Rudy Loses Mojo: Speaking in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, this week, Rudy Giuliani says he will consider the New York governor's race and won't rule out running for president again. Hey man, thanks for letting us know. But don't you think you should be home in like, let's says, Elmira, talkin' about these things of ours? Did anyone catch you on camera there? With a lot of suits and robes? I'm just sayin', it might make for a good campaign spot for somebody.
4) So, like so much else in this life, you have to have a taste for it: Fomer Carmel, California, Mayor Clint Eastwood, on running for office in the future: "Not a chance. I enjoyed being mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to BS people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style."[NYP 11-9-08]
5) Hurry Sundown: Karl Rove's "History Favors Republicans in 2010" [WSJ 11-13-8] had us perk up our ears to listen. Pretty good until you get to the start of the last graph: "In politics, good years follow bad years." Uh, excuse us giant brain, but you haven't been reading your Francis Fukuyama. You see, there was this election in 2006, and, well..........
6) The answer to the question, "Are today's presidential campaigns just too darn long?" Michael Barone, speaking to a post-election crowd at the Palmer House Hilton in Chicago [Politico.com 11-11-08]: "The liberal media attacked Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down syndrome baby. They wanted her to kill that child....I'm talking about my media colleagues with whom I've worked for 35 years." Or as Kevin McCarthy put it in the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers, "They're here! They're here I tell you! They're here!"
7) Honey, do you want the Hungry Man Meat Loaf tonight or this stack of twenties? A tip of the hat to Louisiana's Rep. Wiliam Jefferson, who, although under indictment on bribery charges, won enough votes to avoid a runoff. Hello 10th term! You know, it really is true what they tell you about the importance of constituent service.
8) Hey Ralphie! Ralphie! What've you been up to? Ralph Nader has requested that President-elect Barack Obama allow third-party presidential candidates - himself, Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party, Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party, and Cynthia McKinney of the Green Party - to be included in the inaugural festivities. Hey Raphie! Just who should pay for that? According to Nader, "In other Western European countries, it's a political courtesy to have their competitors. It's a demonstration of unity." Hey Ralphie, nice try, but you know, if he invites you he's gotta invite Alan Keyes and whatnot, and then it just get's silly. I know you understand. [WP 11-14-08]
9) Best shot from the hip explaining why Sarah Palin can't go away: Veteran GOP California operative and now head of the University of Southern California's Institute of Politics, Dan Schnur, to the WP's Howard Kurtz [11-13-08]: "Feed the media beast or it's going to feed on you."
10) Most inspiring line of the week: Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, speaking to his fellow GOP governors in Miami [Politico.com]: "I have looked down at the grave of the Republican Party and this ain't it. I've seen it a lot worse." I'm sorry, but that's the kind of thing you tell Clyde Barrow when he asks, "Tell me Doc, how bad is it?"
Friday, November 7, 2008
Brother, can you paradigm?
1) There's something happenin' here: Exit polls from Tuesday's landslide report that voters still willing to call themselves "Republican" dropped to just 32% this year, down 5% from 2004. At the same time, self-professed Democrats rose over the same time frame to 40% from 37%. Or as Robert Borosage, co-director of the Campaign for America's Future [and the brain behind Jesse Jackson's 1988 presidential bid] said this week [Politico 11-7-08], "This is the end of the conservative era." Pat Buchanam said the same thing election night: “I think this is the end of the conservative era.” When two ends of the spectrum agree.....
2) Bow your heads! Sen. Robert Byrd has decided to step down from the chairmanship of the Senate Appropriations Committee, saying, "To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. Those Biblical words from Ecclesiastes 3:1 express my feelings about this particular time in my life." At least he'll still be on the floor to tell us about Rome, Cicero and his canine companion, "Trouble." How soon before there are no more "giants" in this world's most exclusive club?
3) Nutbush City Limits: So Sarah Palin enters a pre-convention St. Paul hotel room meeting with Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter dressed only in a towel and instructs them to "talk to Todd" until she gets dressed. And then, post-election says, "I don't think anybody should give Sarah Palin that much credit that I would trump an economic, woeful time in this nation that occurred about two months ago... and attribute John McCain's loss to me." [NYDN 11-6-08] Two months ago? Hey, you gotta admit it would have been entertaining.
4) I ain't got no home: Poor "Lonesome Joe" Lieberman. Reduced to having to beg for his chairmanship. Joe, in the weeks ahead, some advice - If a fellow Senator tells you your fly's open, don't look down. Even if it is. And remember, it was never business. It was always personal.
5) They said there's gotta be a recount, I said, "No, no, no." Sen. Norm Coleman leads by only 336 votes, which automaticaly kicks in the state recount, but still has proclaimed victory twice this week. When you got it baby, flaunt it. At least for now.
6) Does somebody have a shield to carry this man outta here? Connecticut Rep. Chris Shays, the last GOP MOC from the Northeast, went down to defeat this week. Said Shays, "I thought I could win, but I always knew I could lose, and I think I had this intuition that I would be killed on the battlefield. I didn't want to retire and be handed some flowers." [NYT 11-6-08]
7) Worst reelection endorsement ever this year: Alaska Rep. Don Young, shilling for Sen. Ted Stevens, said, "I can remember Richard Nixon, you know, his years of service, what he's done, and everybody [was] ridiculing him, and he ended up being the greatest president in the history of our century...The senator will be re-elected. He will appeal it. When he does go, he will win it because there's no way this is a jury of his peers" [WP 11-31-08] Of course, in his last days on the campaign trail the convicted Stevens said, "I have not been convicted of anything yet." So go figure.
8) When you're on the losing end: Campaigning for John McCain just days before the election, House Minority Leader John Boehner criticized Barack Obama's "present" votes when he was in the state legislature, telling a crowd, "In Congress, we have a red button, a green button and a yellow button, alright. Green means 'yes,' red means 'no,' and yellow means you're a chicken shit. And the last thing we need in the White House, in the oval office, behind that big desk, is some chicken who wants to push his yellow button." Six days later, Boehner said of Obama's decision to make Rahm Emanuel his chief of staff, "This is an ironc choice for a president-elect who has promised to change Washington, make politics more civil, and govern from the center."
9) Shouldn't you be doing something important? Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi called President-elect Obama "young, handsome and even tanned." Hey pal, don't you have a lady friend to go see? At least our administrations tend to last from four to eight years. It's 3:00 p.m., isn't it time for your government to fall and reorganize again this week?
10) Great timing: The WSJ chose Election Day to run a front-page piece about academics who think President Herbert Hoover has been getting a bum rap. Said one, "[He is] the most misunderstood and the most underappreciated president." You and Don Young should get together.
2) Bow your heads! Sen. Robert Byrd has decided to step down from the chairmanship of the Senate Appropriations Committee, saying, "To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. Those Biblical words from Ecclesiastes 3:1 express my feelings about this particular time in my life." At least he'll still be on the floor to tell us about Rome, Cicero and his canine companion, "Trouble." How soon before there are no more "giants" in this world's most exclusive club?
3) Nutbush City Limits: So Sarah Palin enters a pre-convention St. Paul hotel room meeting with Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter dressed only in a towel and instructs them to "talk to Todd" until she gets dressed. And then, post-election says, "I don't think anybody should give Sarah Palin that much credit that I would trump an economic, woeful time in this nation that occurred about two months ago... and attribute John McCain's loss to me." [NYDN 11-6-08] Two months ago? Hey, you gotta admit it would have been entertaining.
4) I ain't got no home: Poor "Lonesome Joe" Lieberman. Reduced to having to beg for his chairmanship. Joe, in the weeks ahead, some advice - If a fellow Senator tells you your fly's open, don't look down. Even if it is. And remember, it was never business. It was always personal.
5) They said there's gotta be a recount, I said, "No, no, no." Sen. Norm Coleman leads by only 336 votes, which automaticaly kicks in the state recount, but still has proclaimed victory twice this week. When you got it baby, flaunt it. At least for now.
6) Does somebody have a shield to carry this man outta here? Connecticut Rep. Chris Shays, the last GOP MOC from the Northeast, went down to defeat this week. Said Shays, "I thought I could win, but I always knew I could lose, and I think I had this intuition that I would be killed on the battlefield. I didn't want to retire and be handed some flowers." [NYT 11-6-08]
7) Worst reelection endorsement ever this year: Alaska Rep. Don Young, shilling for Sen. Ted Stevens, said, "I can remember Richard Nixon, you know, his years of service, what he's done, and everybody [was] ridiculing him, and he ended up being the greatest president in the history of our century...The senator will be re-elected. He will appeal it. When he does go, he will win it because there's no way this is a jury of his peers" [WP 11-31-08] Of course, in his last days on the campaign trail the convicted Stevens said, "I have not been convicted of anything yet." So go figure.
8) When you're on the losing end: Campaigning for John McCain just days before the election, House Minority Leader John Boehner criticized Barack Obama's "present" votes when he was in the state legislature, telling a crowd, "In Congress, we have a red button, a green button and a yellow button, alright. Green means 'yes,' red means 'no,' and yellow means you're a chicken shit. And the last thing we need in the White House, in the oval office, behind that big desk, is some chicken who wants to push his yellow button." Six days later, Boehner said of Obama's decision to make Rahm Emanuel his chief of staff, "This is an ironc choice for a president-elect who has promised to change Washington, make politics more civil, and govern from the center."
9) Shouldn't you be doing something important? Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi called President-elect Obama "young, handsome and even tanned." Hey pal, don't you have a lady friend to go see? At least our administrations tend to last from four to eight years. It's 3:00 p.m., isn't it time for your government to fall and reorganize again this week?
10) Great timing: The WSJ chose Election Day to run a front-page piece about academics who think President Herbert Hoover has been getting a bum rap. Said one, "[He is] the most misunderstood and the most underappreciated president." You and Don Young should get together.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Vote early and vote often
1) Politics 103: When defining your opponent, remember to pick a metaphor, symbol or image and just stick with it: Now McC has settled on calling Ob "the redistributor." Hey, is that something under the hood? I think mine is loose. Hey! The wheels came off my narrative! Quick, change the McC campaign theme to "I got a foggy notion." Lou Reed will never know.
2) He can be whatever you want him to be this time around: In response to Chris Matthews asking if he thought Obama was a "Marxist," former Texas Rep. Tom DeLay gave the kind of weak affirmative response that suggested he would have said "yes" had Matthews asked if he thought Obama was really a "Martian." In fact, maybe that's what he heard.
3) When do they "go to ground?" First a McC staffer complains that Gov. Sarah is "going rogue." Then former Bushite, Peter Wehner [WP 10-22-08] suggests that on the run GOP politicians have "gone native." Is this an election or a failed intelligence operation? Who's in charge of "walking back the cat" come Nov. 5th?
4) They can't both be right, can they????!!!! First the GOP House and Senate candidates begin to push the argument that you've got to send them back to Washington to prevent "one party rule." Then McC argues that he must win to prevent "one party rule." It's getting crowded under that bus. Note to McC: Stop calling Obama, [Nancy] Pelosi and [Harry] Reid "a dangerous threesome." When people hear that term they think Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty and Gary Busey. Meet them on your MySpace page.
5) Folks who really are on the "pay-no-mind list": Ralph Nader announced this week that he has set a new record for the most campaign speches delivered in a single day. According to Ralphie Boy, he has delivered 255 minutes of speeches in 21 Massachusetts towns all on the same day. Geez, that's great Ralphie, great. Now, how many Coney Island dogs can you eat in one sitting? And hey, what have you been up to lately?
6) Why Washington gets a bad name: From a WP "Style" section piece [10-26-08] on "How Washinton Plays the Shame Game," suggesting that "It really is hard to know everything you're supposed to know here in a town that incessantly name-drops and bill-drops and amendment-drops, where even the wonkiest among us can be outwonked." Among its anecdotes, a young woman embarassed by meeting a congresswoman who informs her: "I am a congresswoman from your home state. You should know who I am." Oh really??? In the old days, that faux pas would have been your fault congresswoman. You know, not doing a very good job of getting yourself well known and all.
7) The 2008 "Don't play with me or you're playin' with fire" Award for Political Advertising: Goes to North Carolina State Sen. Kay Hagan for her quick retort to U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole's TV spot suggesting that Hagan takes money from atheists and believes 'There is no god." In her response, Hagan counters that "I believe in God," has taught Sunday School and that her campaign is about 'creating jobs...not bearing false witness against fellow Christians." Ouch! Hey Liddy, maybe you should have run that one by Bob first.
8) Worst Closing Presidential Television Spot of 2008: To McC for his parade of "normal" folk all proclaiming, face to the camera, "I'm Joe the Plumber." "I'm Spartacus!" this ain't. Not in resonance nor in (gulp) nobility of purpose. Just juvenile yapping. Hey, where's our book and record deals??!!! Hey, why not just go the Reinhold Niebuhr route, you know, "First they came for Joe the Plumber......."
9) MAAAA!!!! We're workin' down here!!!!!!!!: Moments after Ob delivers his 30-minute "closer" spectacular, Bill O'Reilly and Dennis Miller spend the next 15 minutes arguing over the Sarah Palin doll hanging in effigy on the front porch of a West Hollywood home's Halloween display. Says Miller, "West LA is a tricky place." Yeah, well, there's no need to get graphic here.
10) Roger Clinton, call your office: According to the Washington Post [10-26-08], McC's younger brother Joe, 66, apologized for cursing at a 911 dispatcher after being caught up in a traffic jam on a local bridge. Earlier in October, while out on the campaign trail for his brother, he referred to Virginia's Northern, Alexandria and Arlington Counties as "Communist country."
2) He can be whatever you want him to be this time around: In response to Chris Matthews asking if he thought Obama was a "Marxist," former Texas Rep. Tom DeLay gave the kind of weak affirmative response that suggested he would have said "yes" had Matthews asked if he thought Obama was really a "Martian." In fact, maybe that's what he heard.
3) When do they "go to ground?" First a McC staffer complains that Gov. Sarah is "going rogue." Then former Bushite, Peter Wehner [WP 10-22-08] suggests that on the run GOP politicians have "gone native." Is this an election or a failed intelligence operation? Who's in charge of "walking back the cat" come Nov. 5th?
4) They can't both be right, can they????!!!! First the GOP House and Senate candidates begin to push the argument that you've got to send them back to Washington to prevent "one party rule." Then McC argues that he must win to prevent "one party rule." It's getting crowded under that bus. Note to McC: Stop calling Obama, [Nancy] Pelosi and [Harry] Reid "a dangerous threesome." When people hear that term they think Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty and Gary Busey. Meet them on your MySpace page.
5) Folks who really are on the "pay-no-mind list": Ralph Nader announced this week that he has set a new record for the most campaign speches delivered in a single day. According to Ralphie Boy, he has delivered 255 minutes of speeches in 21 Massachusetts towns all on the same day. Geez, that's great Ralphie, great. Now, how many Coney Island dogs can you eat in one sitting? And hey, what have you been up to lately?
6) Why Washington gets a bad name: From a WP "Style" section piece [10-26-08] on "How Washinton Plays the Shame Game," suggesting that "It really is hard to know everything you're supposed to know here in a town that incessantly name-drops and bill-drops and amendment-drops, where even the wonkiest among us can be outwonked." Among its anecdotes, a young woman embarassed by meeting a congresswoman who informs her: "I am a congresswoman from your home state. You should know who I am." Oh really??? In the old days, that faux pas would have been your fault congresswoman. You know, not doing a very good job of getting yourself well known and all.
7) The 2008 "Don't play with me or you're playin' with fire" Award for Political Advertising: Goes to North Carolina State Sen. Kay Hagan for her quick retort to U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole's TV spot suggesting that Hagan takes money from atheists and believes 'There is no god." In her response, Hagan counters that "I believe in God," has taught Sunday School and that her campaign is about 'creating jobs...not bearing false witness against fellow Christians." Ouch! Hey Liddy, maybe you should have run that one by Bob first.
8) Worst Closing Presidential Television Spot of 2008: To McC for his parade of "normal" folk all proclaiming, face to the camera, "I'm Joe the Plumber." "I'm Spartacus!" this ain't. Not in resonance nor in (gulp) nobility of purpose. Just juvenile yapping. Hey, where's our book and record deals??!!! Hey, why not just go the Reinhold Niebuhr route, you know, "First they came for Joe the Plumber......."
9) MAAAA!!!! We're workin' down here!!!!!!!!: Moments after Ob delivers his 30-minute "closer" spectacular, Bill O'Reilly and Dennis Miller spend the next 15 minutes arguing over the Sarah Palin doll hanging in effigy on the front porch of a West Hollywood home's Halloween display. Says Miller, "West LA is a tricky place." Yeah, well, there's no need to get graphic here.
10) Roger Clinton, call your office: According to the Washington Post [10-26-08], McC's younger brother Joe, 66, apologized for cursing at a 911 dispatcher after being caught up in a traffic jam on a local bridge. Earlier in October, while out on the campaign trail for his brother, he referred to Virginia's Northern, Alexandria and Arlington Counties as "Communist country."
Thursday, October 23, 2008
What's an election for, if it isn't to divide people? - Vice President Spiro T. Agnew
1) "See you in Napa!" is no way to rev up the troops: Speaking at a joint appearance at the National Press Club this week, DSCC Chair Chuck Schumer predicted that it was "possible" for Dems to hit the 60-seat mark in the Senate. His counterpart, John Ensign, chair of the GOP's Senate campaign committee, conceded that "it's also possible that, you know, [Republicans] end up with 44, 45, 46 votes left in the U.S. Senate." As for his post-election plans, Ensign said, "I'm taking my wife to Napa Valley. And so we'll either be able to celebrate or drown our sorrows." [Politico.com 10-21-08]
2) Remember when candidates quoted Lincoln and Jefferson? Gov. Sarah Palin, on CNN [10-21-08], "I'm not going to call [Obama] a socialist, but as Joe the Plumber suggested...."
3) Speaking of which: New philosopher king Joe "the plumber" Wurzelbacher, speaking to CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric, described Obama's original answer to his question as a "tap dance" which was "almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr." Hey Joe, where you goin' with that wrench in your hand?
4) Things you haven't seen in the NYT in a long while: Interviewing voters down in Mobile, Alabama, NYT reporter Adam Nossiter [NYT 10-15-08] quotes one James Halsey, described as a part of an environmental cleanup crew standing in a Wal-Mart parking lot, as saying of Obama, "He's going to tear up the rose bushes and plant a watermelon patch" at the White House. Another voter interviewed, Ricky Thompson of Mobile, said of the Democrat, "He's neither-nor. He's other. It's in the Bible. Come as one. Don't create other breeds." Uhhhh....I don't feel so good......
5) Our slacker brothers and sisters to the north: Voter turnout for Canada's general election last week was the lowest ever recorded. Just 59.1 percent of eligible voters made it to the polls, breaking the previous low turnout record of just under 61 percent set back in 2004. Come on, if you try you can get below 50 in 2012! Choad!! [Yahoo! Canada News 10-15-08]
6) Uh oh, somebody woke up Tom Hagen: Speaking at a GOP fundraiser last week, actor Robert Duvall lambasted "the super-nerd George - what's his name? George Wills..[sic]..and Tommy Thompson. The original block of wood," for their criticism of the McC/Palin ticket. [WP 10-15-08]
7) From the "Ten things I hate about you" desk: Peggy Noonan, on Sarah Palin [WSJ 10-18-08]: "But we have seen Mrs. Palin on the national stage for seven weeks now, and there is little sign that she has the tools, the equipment, the knowledge or the philosophical grounding one hopes for, and expects, in a holder of high office. She is a person of great ambition, but the question remains: What is the purpose of the ambition?" Peggy, let's face it, we all can't be expected to have philosophical groundings, now, can we?
8) God only knows: Lori Lipman Brown, director of the aetheist lobbying group, Secular Coalition of America, bemoans the lack of aetheist participation in American politics. "We should have a base of at least 30 million Americans to work with. And yet those who are active are a much smaller percentage. We're probably looking at just a few hundred thousand active participants. It's hard to even quantify." [NYT 10-18-08] Maybe you can call for a meeting after church in the basem....oh, sorry, that won't work....let's see, where do they congregate?
9) How to lose your seat without even trying: First Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann tells Chris Matthews that Ob "may have anti-American views" and calls for the news media to investigate her fellow members of Congress to find out, "Are they pro-America or anti-America?" [MSNBC "Hardball" 10-17-08] Then North Carolina Rep. Robin Hayes tells a crowd that "liberals hate real Americans that work and accomplish and achieve and believe in God." [Politico.com 10-21-08] Then the money pours in and both are on the run. I guess HUAC ain't comin' 'round anytime soon.
10) So they're like most folks, huh? Veteran political reporter Jeff Greenfield, explaining why the press is talking the way they are about the presidential race: "One piece of press bias is they don't like losers. When the whiff of defeat surrounds a campaign, the press picks up on it the way sharks smell blood in the water, and then it becomes a feedback loop." [WP 10-20-08]
2) Remember when candidates quoted Lincoln and Jefferson? Gov. Sarah Palin, on CNN [10-21-08], "I'm not going to call [Obama] a socialist, but as Joe the Plumber suggested...."
3) Speaking of which: New philosopher king Joe "the plumber" Wurzelbacher, speaking to CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric, described Obama's original answer to his question as a "tap dance" which was "almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr." Hey Joe, where you goin' with that wrench in your hand?
4) Things you haven't seen in the NYT in a long while: Interviewing voters down in Mobile, Alabama, NYT reporter Adam Nossiter [NYT 10-15-08] quotes one James Halsey, described as a part of an environmental cleanup crew standing in a Wal-Mart parking lot, as saying of Obama, "He's going to tear up the rose bushes and plant a watermelon patch" at the White House. Another voter interviewed, Ricky Thompson of Mobile, said of the Democrat, "He's neither-nor. He's other. It's in the Bible. Come as one. Don't create other breeds." Uhhhh....I don't feel so good......
5) Our slacker brothers and sisters to the north: Voter turnout for Canada's general election last week was the lowest ever recorded. Just 59.1 percent of eligible voters made it to the polls, breaking the previous low turnout record of just under 61 percent set back in 2004. Come on, if you try you can get below 50 in 2012! Choad!! [Yahoo! Canada News 10-15-08]
6) Uh oh, somebody woke up Tom Hagen: Speaking at a GOP fundraiser last week, actor Robert Duvall lambasted "the super-nerd George - what's his name? George Wills..[sic]..and Tommy Thompson. The original block of wood," for their criticism of the McC/Palin ticket. [WP 10-15-08]
7) From the "Ten things I hate about you" desk: Peggy Noonan, on Sarah Palin [WSJ 10-18-08]: "But we have seen Mrs. Palin on the national stage for seven weeks now, and there is little sign that she has the tools, the equipment, the knowledge or the philosophical grounding one hopes for, and expects, in a holder of high office. She is a person of great ambition, but the question remains: What is the purpose of the ambition?" Peggy, let's face it, we all can't be expected to have philosophical groundings, now, can we?
8) God only knows: Lori Lipman Brown, director of the aetheist lobbying group, Secular Coalition of America, bemoans the lack of aetheist participation in American politics. "We should have a base of at least 30 million Americans to work with. And yet those who are active are a much smaller percentage. We're probably looking at just a few hundred thousand active participants. It's hard to even quantify." [NYT 10-18-08] Maybe you can call for a meeting after church in the basem....oh, sorry, that won't work....let's see, where do they congregate?
9) How to lose your seat without even trying: First Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann tells Chris Matthews that Ob "may have anti-American views" and calls for the news media to investigate her fellow members of Congress to find out, "Are they pro-America or anti-America?" [MSNBC "Hardball" 10-17-08] Then North Carolina Rep. Robin Hayes tells a crowd that "liberals hate real Americans that work and accomplish and achieve and believe in God." [Politico.com 10-21-08] Then the money pours in and both are on the run. I guess HUAC ain't comin' 'round anytime soon.
10) So they're like most folks, huh? Veteran political reporter Jeff Greenfield, explaining why the press is talking the way they are about the presidential race: "One piece of press bias is they don't like losers. When the whiff of defeat surrounds a campaign, the press picks up on it the way sharks smell blood in the water, and then it becomes a feedback loop." [WP 10-20-08]
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