1) I knew they should have gone with that "Wow Towel" guy: Note to Bobby J., next time you address the nation do not assume the body posture of Andy Kaufman's "Latka" character from "Taxi." You spoke like someone else had control of your mind. Oh wait, I guess they did.
2) If I stay there will be trouble....: Two things are pretty obvious at this point in the Roland Burris saga. First, never send Dick Durbin to muscle anybody. Second, Burris must be holding the Immunity Idol. It's the only thing that makes sense.
3) Maybe they'll start dating: In what's shaping up as potentionally the most entertaining Senate race of the 2010 cycle, both Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council and porn star Stormy Daniels are reportedly interested in running in the GOP primary against incumbent Louisiana Sen. David Vitter. If things keep going this way, one day soon TMZ will rule this town too.
4) Flash! T.R. spins in grave! While promoting his new tome, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the America Dream," Samuel J. Wurzelbacker (i.e. "Joe") makes his second recent stop in D.C. to speak about all things conservative. In response to a question from Politico about the possibility of his running for a House seat, Joe said, "If I became a congressman I would literally bang people's heads together and probably get in a lot of trouble." [Insert Moe Howard reference here.]
5) You can't Google institutional memory: West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd came out swinging at the Obama Administration this week, charging that their plans to create various policy "czar" positions in the White House "can threaten the Consitutional system of checks and balances. At the worst, White House staff have taken direction and control of programmatic areas that are the statutory responsibility of Senate-confirmed officials." Scoff if you must but once he goes, there goes the Chamber's last link to the Roman Senate - and the last person to understand why that matters. But we will still have plenty of folks who Twitter. Oh goody.
6) Profiles in Courage 2009: Minnesota's GOP Governor Tim Pawlenty agrees with others in his party who have criticized the president's stimulus package, calling it a "meandering spending buffet." However, as he told the WP, he is "going to accept the money" on behalf of his state because, "For many Republicans, it's not our bill, but it is now the law..."
7) A politician without a clue is a former politician: In this week's case of yet another politician who "didn't know it was a racial stereotype," Los Alamitos, California, Mayor Dean Grose apologized for sending out an e-mail photo which depicted the White House lawn as a watermelon patch. And Mr. Mayor, BTW, in case you also didn't know, a stereotype does not refer to "SONY."
8) Alert to political history buffs: As to all this "twittering" that went on in the chamber during the President's speech to the joint session this week, does anybody remember Hubert H. sitting there playing with an Etch A Sketch while LBJ was talking? Dana Milbank in his WP column reports on Texas Rep. John Culberson (R) doing a pre-speech live streaming video on Qik.com using his camera phone and then breathlessly assuring his audience that "I'll do one more broadcast and then I will tweet from the floor." Where are we headed, people?
9) Why business success rarely equals political success, Volume 46: Former chief executive of eBay, Meg Whitman (she of the pointless and dull 2008 GOP Convention speech), says that she is running for governor of California in 2010. She told the NYT, "I'm pretty convinced that the next governor of California is going to have to plant herself in Sacramento 24/7, 365 days a year. It's going to require listening, understanding policy alternatives, and building collaboration and relationships that allow the state to move forward. It's another eBay." No, it's not. It's really not. Somebody tell her now. Please.
10) On the other hand: There's money. There's real money. There's Stimulus money. And then there's Bloomberg money. As the New York Post reports, New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg intends to begin his reelection TV spots "well before May 18," the date on which he started running spots during his 2005 reelection campaign. That year he spent $1 million a week on TV spots alone. This year he's also set to open "nearly two dozen campaign offices around the five boroughs as early as April." Yo Mike! When can we get some of that, ya know, walkin' around money, ya know?"
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
"The Chair recognizes the distinguished gentleman from Ponzi Land"
1) Hey Mikey! Way to build that big tent! Newly minted RNC chief Michael Steele says that the GOP needs "to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets." Get me Matt Roloff! Stat! (And just what does "uptick" mean, exactly?)
2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.
3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.
4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."
5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.
6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.
7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....
8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.
9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."
10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]
2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.
3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.
4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."
5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.
6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.
7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....
8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.
9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."
10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
"'Partisan' & 'Politics' go together like two peas in a pod, Jenny."
1) "Whoopi, I tell ya, I'm feelin' more and more like a minority myself!" Just who is counseling Blago these days? Positioning yourself as the "anti-Nixon" and saying "Play the tapes!" ain't bad when you're in a ditch. Of course, after citing Mandela, Dr. King and the Mahatma, he reportedly went on to mention "Ray Milland, Aleister Crowley, Dylan Thomas, Che, Walt Whitman, Keith Moon, James Dean, Sonny Corleone, Allen Ginsburg, Carrot Top and Gummo Marx."
2) "Where is the girl I used to know?" After too many days of mindless cable news punditry about the whole Caroline K. fiasco, social commentator Artie Lange gets it all in one succinct sentence: "She is not good at the game 'cause she never played the game." [The Howard Stern Show 1-22-09]
3) From the "Hey! Didn't you used to be somebody?" Dept. : Former Rep. Dick Armey, moments before personally insulting Salon's Joan Walsh on MSNBC's "Hardball [1-28-09]," defined "this thing of ours" thus: "Politics is juvenile delinquency....Don't let politics define anything. It's silly, inane." Dickster, leave yourself out of this!
4) "Of course, Lord Vader. At once, Lord Vader." When it comes to looking like a quisling, you just can't beat Georgia GOP Rep. Phil Gingrey's bowing and begging for Rush Limbaugh's forgiveness. Don't worry Phil, he had no idea who you were two days ago, and he's not hoping you fail.
5) Can you say "contested primary?" Note to Gov. Dave P.: If someone invites you "up to the Vineyard," just say you're busy. We hear that's the last invite Judge Crater got.
6) Voices of Reason (yes, it's a short list): Former GOP Rep. J. C. Watts, quoted in this week's E.J. Dionne column [WP 1-26-09], cautioning his former Republican House mates on their approach to the new Administration: "Be careful how you throw eggs at this parade."
7) Hey Trotsky! Lighten up, dude. The Daily Kos' Markos Moulitsas goes after Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine for taking the DNC chair while remaining governor: "Running a party should be a full-time job, and anything less than that is not giving the job what it deserves." Something tells us that long before you were even born, there were guys (and gals) holding office, running the party, making a living and whatever else had to be done. Not a problem. Really. It's okay.
8) Yeah, I guess he was right: Eliot Cohen's thoughtful piece on government and punditry in last week's WSJ [1-23-09] begins: "'You become a political scientist,' a beloved teacher of mine once said, 'because you're either afraid of power, or fascinated by it.'"
9) Things you don't hear in Washington: Ms. Oprah (I could be a Senator if I wanted to but, I don't want to) Winfrey, to her television show guests the day before the Inauguration: "Don't we all feel like we are sort of vibrating?" "It's buzzing," offered Ashton Kutcher. "I'm shaking," said wife Demi.
10) Let's hope we never hear these three names in the same sentence again: According to political history scribes at the WP [1-22 & 1-23-09], President Obama now becomes the seventh president to have re-taken the oath of office for some reason or another. Also on the list, "Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur."
2) "Where is the girl I used to know?" After too many days of mindless cable news punditry about the whole Caroline K. fiasco, social commentator Artie Lange gets it all in one succinct sentence: "She is not good at the game 'cause she never played the game." [The Howard Stern Show 1-22-09]
3) From the "Hey! Didn't you used to be somebody?" Dept. : Former Rep. Dick Armey, moments before personally insulting Salon's Joan Walsh on MSNBC's "Hardball [1-28-09]," defined "this thing of ours" thus: "Politics is juvenile delinquency....Don't let politics define anything. It's silly, inane." Dickster, leave yourself out of this!
4) "Of course, Lord Vader. At once, Lord Vader." When it comes to looking like a quisling, you just can't beat Georgia GOP Rep. Phil Gingrey's bowing and begging for Rush Limbaugh's forgiveness. Don't worry Phil, he had no idea who you were two days ago, and he's not hoping you fail.
5) Can you say "contested primary?" Note to Gov. Dave P.: If someone invites you "up to the Vineyard," just say you're busy. We hear that's the last invite Judge Crater got.
6) Voices of Reason (yes, it's a short list): Former GOP Rep. J. C. Watts, quoted in this week's E.J. Dionne column [WP 1-26-09], cautioning his former Republican House mates on their approach to the new Administration: "Be careful how you throw eggs at this parade."
7) Hey Trotsky! Lighten up, dude. The Daily Kos' Markos Moulitsas goes after Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine for taking the DNC chair while remaining governor: "Running a party should be a full-time job, and anything less than that is not giving the job what it deserves." Something tells us that long before you were even born, there were guys (and gals) holding office, running the party, making a living and whatever else had to be done. Not a problem. Really. It's okay.
8) Yeah, I guess he was right: Eliot Cohen's thoughtful piece on government and punditry in last week's WSJ [1-23-09] begins: "'You become a political scientist,' a beloved teacher of mine once said, 'because you're either afraid of power, or fascinated by it.'"
9) Things you don't hear in Washington: Ms. Oprah (I could be a Senator if I wanted to but, I don't want to) Winfrey, to her television show guests the day before the Inauguration: "Don't we all feel like we are sort of vibrating?" "It's buzzing," offered Ashton Kutcher. "I'm shaking," said wife Demi.
10) Let's hope we never hear these three names in the same sentence again: According to political history scribes at the WP [1-22 & 1-23-09], President Obama now becomes the seventh president to have re-taken the oath of office for some reason or another. Also on the list, "Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur."
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Even Richard Nixon has got soul" - from Neil Young's "Campaigner"
1) So long, it's been (somethin', somethin') to know you... Geez Georgie, there you were surrounded by staff and family, explaining the last eight years, and no sooner do you finish then ABC starts running an episode of "Scrubs." Ouch. It was almost like it didn't happen. Hey Georgie, when things calm down we'll catch up for lunch, okay. You take care now, Georgie.
2) "Here's a little ditty by a young dude named Yeats and it goes like this..." Blago Agonistes. C'mon, face it, you all know he's only guilty of one thing - political malpractice. Or, as former Louisiana Gov. Earl Long put it: "Don't write anything you can phone, don't phone anything you can talk face to face, don't talk anything you can smile, don't smile anything you can wink and don't wink anything you can nod." [Hey Mr. Prosecutor, good luck with that whole "jury of his peers" thing.]
3) Chauncey Gardiner goes to Washington (again): Seventy-one-year-old Roland Burris comes to town, stays cool, stares down his fellow Democrats, stays on message, and wins. Hey Harry Reid, we got your post-racial politics right here! Burris for Senate 2010.
4) Wasn't it called "Andersonville?" Conservative talking head Larry Schweikart, author of "48 Liberal Lies," on Fox 1-13-09: "If there was a Gitmo in his time, [President Abraham] Lincoln would not have shut it."
5) Pearls of Washington Wisdom #485: Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey explaining what it's like to be in the minority party in the Senate: "The chairman [of a committee] - especially with 58 to 59 in the voting caucus - drives the car and chooses the destination. The ranking [minority member] rides shotgun on a good day. On a bad day, he or she is in a carpool with the chairman's staff." [Wash. Post 1-13-09]
6) Forget "Political Science," let's just start calling it "Political Math": Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel to the RNC, explains a contested election: "The position of candidates in disputed elections depends on whether one is perceived as ahead or behind in the vote count. The tactic of someone who is ahead is to declare victory and create an air of inevitability. The tactic of someone behind is to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the opponent's claim." [Wash. Post 1-7-09]
7) Worst campaign slogan of the year so far: Terry McAuliffe's anouncement that he would be running for Governor of Virginia included the words "Yes, we can do it again this year."
8) R.I.P. former Rhode Island Sen. Claiborne Pell, at age 90: Diplomat, investment banker and wise old pol. A man from another time, back when you could truthfully utter the words, "I yield to the gentleman from Rhode Island." Looking back on his 1960 race for the Senate decades later, Pell recounted, "My opponent called me a cream puff...Well, I rushed out and got the bakers' union to endorse me."
9) From the "What passes for political commentary these days" Department: This whole Ann Coulter "thing" - Since when does anyone have to get their nose rubbed in the marketplace of ideas by someone who's never even gotten a street paved? Whatever happened to good old fashioned shunning? Quick, Food Channel, give her a cooking show!
10) What Lyndon knew and when he knew it: From the LBJ tapes archive [CBS News 12-4-08], the President calls VP Hubert Humphrey and urges him to pick Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye as his 1968 running mate: "He answers Vietnam with that empty sleeve. He answers your problems with Nixon with that empty sleeve. He has that brown face...The South can't get mad at him because he's colored. And he would appeal to every other minority because he is one." HHH replied that the move would, well, "I guess maybe it just takes me a little bit too far, too fast."
2) "Here's a little ditty by a young dude named Yeats and it goes like this..." Blago Agonistes. C'mon, face it, you all know he's only guilty of one thing - political malpractice. Or, as former Louisiana Gov. Earl Long put it: "Don't write anything you can phone, don't phone anything you can talk face to face, don't talk anything you can smile, don't smile anything you can wink and don't wink anything you can nod." [Hey Mr. Prosecutor, good luck with that whole "jury of his peers" thing.]
3) Chauncey Gardiner goes to Washington (again): Seventy-one-year-old Roland Burris comes to town, stays cool, stares down his fellow Democrats, stays on message, and wins. Hey Harry Reid, we got your post-racial politics right here! Burris for Senate 2010.
4) Wasn't it called "Andersonville?" Conservative talking head Larry Schweikart, author of "48 Liberal Lies," on Fox 1-13-09: "If there was a Gitmo in his time, [President Abraham] Lincoln would not have shut it."
5) Pearls of Washington Wisdom #485: Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey explaining what it's like to be in the minority party in the Senate: "The chairman [of a committee] - especially with 58 to 59 in the voting caucus - drives the car and chooses the destination. The ranking [minority member] rides shotgun on a good day. On a bad day, he or she is in a carpool with the chairman's staff." [Wash. Post 1-13-09]
6) Forget "Political Science," let's just start calling it "Political Math": Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel to the RNC, explains a contested election: "The position of candidates in disputed elections depends on whether one is perceived as ahead or behind in the vote count. The tactic of someone who is ahead is to declare victory and create an air of inevitability. The tactic of someone behind is to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the opponent's claim." [Wash. Post 1-7-09]
7) Worst campaign slogan of the year so far: Terry McAuliffe's anouncement that he would be running for Governor of Virginia included the words "Yes, we can do it again this year."
8) R.I.P. former Rhode Island Sen. Claiborne Pell, at age 90: Diplomat, investment banker and wise old pol. A man from another time, back when you could truthfully utter the words, "I yield to the gentleman from Rhode Island." Looking back on his 1960 race for the Senate decades later, Pell recounted, "My opponent called me a cream puff...Well, I rushed out and got the bakers' union to endorse me."
9) From the "What passes for political commentary these days" Department: This whole Ann Coulter "thing" - Since when does anyone have to get their nose rubbed in the marketplace of ideas by someone who's never even gotten a street paved? Whatever happened to good old fashioned shunning? Quick, Food Channel, give her a cooking show!
10) What Lyndon knew and when he knew it: From the LBJ tapes archive [CBS News 12-4-08], the President calls VP Hubert Humphrey and urges him to pick Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye as his 1968 running mate: "He answers Vietnam with that empty sleeve. He answers your problems with Nixon with that empty sleeve. He has that brown face...The South can't get mad at him because he's colored. And he would appeal to every other minority because he is one." HHH replied that the move would, well, "I guess maybe it just takes me a little bit too far, too fast."
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
"You know, she and Jerry were a big thing. Like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd." - Kosmo Kramer
1)Is that all there is? Hey Gov. Richardson! Congrats on becoming Secretary of St...um, I mean, Secretary of Commerce...yeah, hey, it's not that much of a difference, ya know...still in the Cabinet and all, yep, hey, who needs all that press attention and international headaches and all anyway, right? Still, you know, wouldn't it be ironic if back in the spring Ob kinda thought you were a Judas too? I mean, I'm just sayin', that would be ironic!
2) Why we miss him: Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, on Lame Duck sessions of Congress: "In my 35 years in Congress, I have probably been through 15 or 16 lame-duck sessions. They are always a mess, accomplish little or nothing and wind up being an embarassment to everybody. One time I think I got rolled by Newt and the House guys. And it was a mess." [NYT 11-21-08]
3) That's "K Street," with a "D": Peter Metzger, vice chair of recruiting firm CT Partners, on the rush for K Street lobbying forms to dump their GOP executives and hire Democratic staffers: "People who need to get something done know what the price of a drink is. This may sound teribbly Washington, but access trumps expertise." [WSJ 11-25-08] Yes, it does, but that's okay.
4) Remember when all you had to worry about was whether they paid taxes on the help? Among the possible contenders for a slot on the Federal Communications Commission in the new Obama Administration is University of Pennsylvania business professor Kevin Werbach, a self-professed player of the virtual-reality game, "World of Warcraft." According to Werbach, he plays bcause it's "fun" and "because I believe MMOGs [massively multiplayer online games] will be one of the primary forms of social software for the next decade." [NYPost 11-22-08] Hey Kevin, better keep this to yourself. Members of Congress are still trying to understand the concept of "bowling alone."
5) Best post-election commentary: Tom Korologos in the NYT [1-23-08], offering up his "Memo" to the incoming White House staff. Among his pointers, "If you feel you won't have time to talk when you return a call, place the call before 9 a.m., or during the lunch period, or after 6 p.m. Chances are good the caller will be out, but you will get credit for returning the call." So, politics is really just about life skills. I knew it!
6) Never let them see behind the curtain: "There are no illusions here." The comment of an anonymous insider on the appointment of former Biden COS Ted Kaufman to take the Senator's open Senate seat until the 2010 special election, when Joe Biden III will be free to run. Just as long as the Chair doesn't address him as "Senator place holder."
7) So we're guessing he's not running ever again: According to the WP's "In The Loop" column [WP 11-26-08], defeated Pennsylvania Rep. Phil English "shuttered his offices and has been turning away constituent work, even though he and his staff remain on the federal payroll until January," including abandoning the process of recommending candidates for the military service academies, leaving those young people and their parents hanging.
8) More evience that political skills are learned in high school: Henry Waxman dethrones John Dingell from Chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. As Rep. Mike Doyle (D., Pa.) explained, "You bumped into a lot of freshmen who said Mr. Waxman was very good to them. The freshman and the sophomore class didn't know John or had never served with him. It's a sad ending for someone who's given so much of his life to the Democratic Party, the Congress and the country. He deserved better." [NYT 11-23-08] Or, as Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D., Ohio) put it: "Right at the moment I'm weeping for the heartland. It's Hollywood versus Detroit - I mean, think about it." [WSJ 11-21-08]
9) So, you get that's sort of why you lost, right? John Raese, GOP opponent who failed to defeat West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd in 2006: "Seemed like when we were in our campaign bus, and every highway and road was named after him - that's a lot of advertising." [WP 11-20-08]
10) Life in the other Democracies: After Polish Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski was quoted as saying "Have you heard that Obama may have a Polish connection? His grandfather ate a Polish missionary," a spokesperson for the Polish foreign office explained, "Mr. Sikorski did not tell a racist joke. He was only giving an example of the unpalatable and racist 'jokes' that surround President Elect Obama." [Telegraph.co.uk 11-18-08]
2) Why we miss him: Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, on Lame Duck sessions of Congress: "In my 35 years in Congress, I have probably been through 15 or 16 lame-duck sessions. They are always a mess, accomplish little or nothing and wind up being an embarassment to everybody. One time I think I got rolled by Newt and the House guys. And it was a mess." [NYT 11-21-08]
3) That's "K Street," with a "D": Peter Metzger, vice chair of recruiting firm CT Partners, on the rush for K Street lobbying forms to dump their GOP executives and hire Democratic staffers: "People who need to get something done know what the price of a drink is. This may sound teribbly Washington, but access trumps expertise." [WSJ 11-25-08] Yes, it does, but that's okay.
4) Remember when all you had to worry about was whether they paid taxes on the help? Among the possible contenders for a slot on the Federal Communications Commission in the new Obama Administration is University of Pennsylvania business professor Kevin Werbach, a self-professed player of the virtual-reality game, "World of Warcraft." According to Werbach, he plays bcause it's "fun" and "because I believe MMOGs [massively multiplayer online games] will be one of the primary forms of social software for the next decade." [NYPost 11-22-08] Hey Kevin, better keep this to yourself. Members of Congress are still trying to understand the concept of "bowling alone."
5) Best post-election commentary: Tom Korologos in the NYT [1-23-08], offering up his "Memo" to the incoming White House staff. Among his pointers, "If you feel you won't have time to talk when you return a call, place the call before 9 a.m., or during the lunch period, or after 6 p.m. Chances are good the caller will be out, but you will get credit for returning the call." So, politics is really just about life skills. I knew it!
6) Never let them see behind the curtain: "There are no illusions here." The comment of an anonymous insider on the appointment of former Biden COS Ted Kaufman to take the Senator's open Senate seat until the 2010 special election, when Joe Biden III will be free to run. Just as long as the Chair doesn't address him as "Senator place holder."
7) So we're guessing he's not running ever again: According to the WP's "In The Loop" column [WP 11-26-08], defeated Pennsylvania Rep. Phil English "shuttered his offices and has been turning away constituent work, even though he and his staff remain on the federal payroll until January," including abandoning the process of recommending candidates for the military service academies, leaving those young people and their parents hanging.
8) More evience that political skills are learned in high school: Henry Waxman dethrones John Dingell from Chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee. As Rep. Mike Doyle (D., Pa.) explained, "You bumped into a lot of freshmen who said Mr. Waxman was very good to them. The freshman and the sophomore class didn't know John or had never served with him. It's a sad ending for someone who's given so much of his life to the Democratic Party, the Congress and the country. He deserved better." [NYT 11-23-08] Or, as Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D., Ohio) put it: "Right at the moment I'm weeping for the heartland. It's Hollywood versus Detroit - I mean, think about it." [WSJ 11-21-08]
9) So, you get that's sort of why you lost, right? John Raese, GOP opponent who failed to defeat West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd in 2006: "Seemed like when we were in our campaign bus, and every highway and road was named after him - that's a lot of advertising." [WP 11-20-08]
10) Life in the other Democracies: After Polish Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski was quoted as saying "Have you heard that Obama may have a Polish connection? His grandfather ate a Polish missionary," a spokesperson for the Polish foreign office explained, "Mr. Sikorski did not tell a racist joke. He was only giving an example of the unpalatable and racist 'jokes' that surround President Elect Obama." [Telegraph.co.uk 11-18-08]
Monday, November 17, 2008
Team of Rivals? More like the time the Bowery Boys went into business with the Plug Uglies. Or when Lyndon had that talk with Hubert
1) The Queen's Gambit: What an excellent opening move. Don't look into their eyes! Just ride along on the artistry of the thought processes. Like jazz, if you have to have politics explained to you, you'll never understand.
2) Post-Post-Post-Modern Politics: Interviewed 11-10-08 on Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin says, "I consider myself too a feminist. Whatever that means." Please someone, hurry with that book deal.
3) Rudy Loses Mojo: Speaking in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, this week, Rudy Giuliani says he will consider the New York governor's race and won't rule out running for president again. Hey man, thanks for letting us know. But don't you think you should be home in like, let's says, Elmira, talkin' about these things of ours? Did anyone catch you on camera there? With a lot of suits and robes? I'm just sayin', it might make for a good campaign spot for somebody.
4) So, like so much else in this life, you have to have a taste for it: Fomer Carmel, California, Mayor Clint Eastwood, on running for office in the future: "Not a chance. I enjoyed being mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to BS people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style."[NYP 11-9-08]
5) Hurry Sundown: Karl Rove's "History Favors Republicans in 2010" [WSJ 11-13-8] had us perk up our ears to listen. Pretty good until you get to the start of the last graph: "In politics, good years follow bad years." Uh, excuse us giant brain, but you haven't been reading your Francis Fukuyama. You see, there was this election in 2006, and, well..........
6) The answer to the question, "Are today's presidential campaigns just too darn long?" Michael Barone, speaking to a post-election crowd at the Palmer House Hilton in Chicago [Politico.com 11-11-08]: "The liberal media attacked Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down syndrome baby. They wanted her to kill that child....I'm talking about my media colleagues with whom I've worked for 35 years." Or as Kevin McCarthy put it in the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers, "They're here! They're here I tell you! They're here!"
7) Honey, do you want the Hungry Man Meat Loaf tonight or this stack of twenties? A tip of the hat to Louisiana's Rep. Wiliam Jefferson, who, although under indictment on bribery charges, won enough votes to avoid a runoff. Hello 10th term! You know, it really is true what they tell you about the importance of constituent service.
8) Hey Ralphie! Ralphie! What've you been up to? Ralph Nader has requested that President-elect Barack Obama allow third-party presidential candidates - himself, Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party, Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party, and Cynthia McKinney of the Green Party - to be included in the inaugural festivities. Hey Raphie! Just who should pay for that? According to Nader, "In other Western European countries, it's a political courtesy to have their competitors. It's a demonstration of unity." Hey Ralphie, nice try, but you know, if he invites you he's gotta invite Alan Keyes and whatnot, and then it just get's silly. I know you understand. [WP 11-14-08]
9) Best shot from the hip explaining why Sarah Palin can't go away: Veteran GOP California operative and now head of the University of Southern California's Institute of Politics, Dan Schnur, to the WP's Howard Kurtz [11-13-08]: "Feed the media beast or it's going to feed on you."
10) Most inspiring line of the week: Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, speaking to his fellow GOP governors in Miami [Politico.com]: "I have looked down at the grave of the Republican Party and this ain't it. I've seen it a lot worse." I'm sorry, but that's the kind of thing you tell Clyde Barrow when he asks, "Tell me Doc, how bad is it?"
2) Post-Post-Post-Modern Politics: Interviewed 11-10-08 on Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin says, "I consider myself too a feminist. Whatever that means." Please someone, hurry with that book deal.
3) Rudy Loses Mojo: Speaking in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, this week, Rudy Giuliani says he will consider the New York governor's race and won't rule out running for president again. Hey man, thanks for letting us know. But don't you think you should be home in like, let's says, Elmira, talkin' about these things of ours? Did anyone catch you on camera there? With a lot of suits and robes? I'm just sayin', it might make for a good campaign spot for somebody.
4) So, like so much else in this life, you have to have a taste for it: Fomer Carmel, California, Mayor Clint Eastwood, on running for office in the future: "Not a chance. I enjoyed being mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to BS people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style."[NYP 11-9-08]
5) Hurry Sundown: Karl Rove's "History Favors Republicans in 2010" [WSJ 11-13-8] had us perk up our ears to listen. Pretty good until you get to the start of the last graph: "In politics, good years follow bad years." Uh, excuse us giant brain, but you haven't been reading your Francis Fukuyama. You see, there was this election in 2006, and, well..........
6) The answer to the question, "Are today's presidential campaigns just too darn long?" Michael Barone, speaking to a post-election crowd at the Palmer House Hilton in Chicago [Politico.com 11-11-08]: "The liberal media attacked Sarah Palin because she did not abort her Down syndrome baby. They wanted her to kill that child....I'm talking about my media colleagues with whom I've worked for 35 years." Or as Kevin McCarthy put it in the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers, "They're here! They're here I tell you! They're here!"
7) Honey, do you want the Hungry Man Meat Loaf tonight or this stack of twenties? A tip of the hat to Louisiana's Rep. Wiliam Jefferson, who, although under indictment on bribery charges, won enough votes to avoid a runoff. Hello 10th term! You know, it really is true what they tell you about the importance of constituent service.
8) Hey Ralphie! Ralphie! What've you been up to? Ralph Nader has requested that President-elect Barack Obama allow third-party presidential candidates - himself, Bob Barr of the Libertarian Party, Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party, and Cynthia McKinney of the Green Party - to be included in the inaugural festivities. Hey Raphie! Just who should pay for that? According to Nader, "In other Western European countries, it's a political courtesy to have their competitors. It's a demonstration of unity." Hey Ralphie, nice try, but you know, if he invites you he's gotta invite Alan Keyes and whatnot, and then it just get's silly. I know you understand. [WP 11-14-08]
9) Best shot from the hip explaining why Sarah Palin can't go away: Veteran GOP California operative and now head of the University of Southern California's Institute of Politics, Dan Schnur, to the WP's Howard Kurtz [11-13-08]: "Feed the media beast or it's going to feed on you."
10) Most inspiring line of the week: Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, speaking to his fellow GOP governors in Miami [Politico.com]: "I have looked down at the grave of the Republican Party and this ain't it. I've seen it a lot worse." I'm sorry, but that's the kind of thing you tell Clyde Barrow when he asks, "Tell me Doc, how bad is it?"
Friday, November 7, 2008
Brother, can you paradigm?
1) There's something happenin' here: Exit polls from Tuesday's landslide report that voters still willing to call themselves "Republican" dropped to just 32% this year, down 5% from 2004. At the same time, self-professed Democrats rose over the same time frame to 40% from 37%. Or as Robert Borosage, co-director of the Campaign for America's Future [and the brain behind Jesse Jackson's 1988 presidential bid] said this week [Politico 11-7-08], "This is the end of the conservative era." Pat Buchanam said the same thing election night: “I think this is the end of the conservative era.” When two ends of the spectrum agree.....
2) Bow your heads! Sen. Robert Byrd has decided to step down from the chairmanship of the Senate Appropriations Committee, saying, "To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. Those Biblical words from Ecclesiastes 3:1 express my feelings about this particular time in my life." At least he'll still be on the floor to tell us about Rome, Cicero and his canine companion, "Trouble." How soon before there are no more "giants" in this world's most exclusive club?
3) Nutbush City Limits: So Sarah Palin enters a pre-convention St. Paul hotel room meeting with Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter dressed only in a towel and instructs them to "talk to Todd" until she gets dressed. And then, post-election says, "I don't think anybody should give Sarah Palin that much credit that I would trump an economic, woeful time in this nation that occurred about two months ago... and attribute John McCain's loss to me." [NYDN 11-6-08] Two months ago? Hey, you gotta admit it would have been entertaining.
4) I ain't got no home: Poor "Lonesome Joe" Lieberman. Reduced to having to beg for his chairmanship. Joe, in the weeks ahead, some advice - If a fellow Senator tells you your fly's open, don't look down. Even if it is. And remember, it was never business. It was always personal.
5) They said there's gotta be a recount, I said, "No, no, no." Sen. Norm Coleman leads by only 336 votes, which automaticaly kicks in the state recount, but still has proclaimed victory twice this week. When you got it baby, flaunt it. At least for now.
6) Does somebody have a shield to carry this man outta here? Connecticut Rep. Chris Shays, the last GOP MOC from the Northeast, went down to defeat this week. Said Shays, "I thought I could win, but I always knew I could lose, and I think I had this intuition that I would be killed on the battlefield. I didn't want to retire and be handed some flowers." [NYT 11-6-08]
7) Worst reelection endorsement ever this year: Alaska Rep. Don Young, shilling for Sen. Ted Stevens, said, "I can remember Richard Nixon, you know, his years of service, what he's done, and everybody [was] ridiculing him, and he ended up being the greatest president in the history of our century...The senator will be re-elected. He will appeal it. When he does go, he will win it because there's no way this is a jury of his peers" [WP 11-31-08] Of course, in his last days on the campaign trail the convicted Stevens said, "I have not been convicted of anything yet." So go figure.
8) When you're on the losing end: Campaigning for John McCain just days before the election, House Minority Leader John Boehner criticized Barack Obama's "present" votes when he was in the state legislature, telling a crowd, "In Congress, we have a red button, a green button and a yellow button, alright. Green means 'yes,' red means 'no,' and yellow means you're a chicken shit. And the last thing we need in the White House, in the oval office, behind that big desk, is some chicken who wants to push his yellow button." Six days later, Boehner said of Obama's decision to make Rahm Emanuel his chief of staff, "This is an ironc choice for a president-elect who has promised to change Washington, make politics more civil, and govern from the center."
9) Shouldn't you be doing something important? Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi called President-elect Obama "young, handsome and even tanned." Hey pal, don't you have a lady friend to go see? At least our administrations tend to last from four to eight years. It's 3:00 p.m., isn't it time for your government to fall and reorganize again this week?
10) Great timing: The WSJ chose Election Day to run a front-page piece about academics who think President Herbert Hoover has been getting a bum rap. Said one, "[He is] the most misunderstood and the most underappreciated president." You and Don Young should get together.
2) Bow your heads! Sen. Robert Byrd has decided to step down from the chairmanship of the Senate Appropriations Committee, saying, "To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. Those Biblical words from Ecclesiastes 3:1 express my feelings about this particular time in my life." At least he'll still be on the floor to tell us about Rome, Cicero and his canine companion, "Trouble." How soon before there are no more "giants" in this world's most exclusive club?
3) Nutbush City Limits: So Sarah Palin enters a pre-convention St. Paul hotel room meeting with Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter dressed only in a towel and instructs them to "talk to Todd" until she gets dressed. And then, post-election says, "I don't think anybody should give Sarah Palin that much credit that I would trump an economic, woeful time in this nation that occurred about two months ago... and attribute John McCain's loss to me." [NYDN 11-6-08] Two months ago? Hey, you gotta admit it would have been entertaining.
4) I ain't got no home: Poor "Lonesome Joe" Lieberman. Reduced to having to beg for his chairmanship. Joe, in the weeks ahead, some advice - If a fellow Senator tells you your fly's open, don't look down. Even if it is. And remember, it was never business. It was always personal.
5) They said there's gotta be a recount, I said, "No, no, no." Sen. Norm Coleman leads by only 336 votes, which automaticaly kicks in the state recount, but still has proclaimed victory twice this week. When you got it baby, flaunt it. At least for now.
6) Does somebody have a shield to carry this man outta here? Connecticut Rep. Chris Shays, the last GOP MOC from the Northeast, went down to defeat this week. Said Shays, "I thought I could win, but I always knew I could lose, and I think I had this intuition that I would be killed on the battlefield. I didn't want to retire and be handed some flowers." [NYT 11-6-08]
7) Worst reelection endorsement ever this year: Alaska Rep. Don Young, shilling for Sen. Ted Stevens, said, "I can remember Richard Nixon, you know, his years of service, what he's done, and everybody [was] ridiculing him, and he ended up being the greatest president in the history of our century...The senator will be re-elected. He will appeal it. When he does go, he will win it because there's no way this is a jury of his peers" [WP 11-31-08] Of course, in his last days on the campaign trail the convicted Stevens said, "I have not been convicted of anything yet." So go figure.
8) When you're on the losing end: Campaigning for John McCain just days before the election, House Minority Leader John Boehner criticized Barack Obama's "present" votes when he was in the state legislature, telling a crowd, "In Congress, we have a red button, a green button and a yellow button, alright. Green means 'yes,' red means 'no,' and yellow means you're a chicken shit. And the last thing we need in the White House, in the oval office, behind that big desk, is some chicken who wants to push his yellow button." Six days later, Boehner said of Obama's decision to make Rahm Emanuel his chief of staff, "This is an ironc choice for a president-elect who has promised to change Washington, make politics more civil, and govern from the center."
9) Shouldn't you be doing something important? Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi called President-elect Obama "young, handsome and even tanned." Hey pal, don't you have a lady friend to go see? At least our administrations tend to last from four to eight years. It's 3:00 p.m., isn't it time for your government to fall and reorganize again this week?
10) Great timing: The WSJ chose Election Day to run a front-page piece about academics who think President Herbert Hoover has been getting a bum rap. Said one, "[He is] the most misunderstood and the most underappreciated president." You and Don Young should get together.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)