1) He should have seen it comin': Both the pedestrian in the crosswalk and being used by the McCainiacs to float the veep story. Bob, since when did you become the only guy at the poker game who isn't quite sure why he was invited to play?
2) John Edwards runs from veep short list! Where's the coverage? Where's the lawsuit? Okay, at the very least, where's the chase footage? And where was TMZ?
3) A Yale take on the economy: "Wall Street got drunk...It got drunk, and now it's got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up, and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments." Glad no one asked him to name one of those "fancy instruments."
4) Paul Weyrich says hello: Iowa GOP wingers boot Chuck Grassley from the state's Convention delegation. Thirty years in the Senate to be treated like this? Next time they need a bridge fixed they should ask Weyrich for the money.
5) Political Journalism Prize of the Week: David D. Kirkpatrick, writing in his NYT [7-21-08] piece on McCain and the Senate: "Both Mr. McCain and Mr. Lott publicly supported Mr. Frist. But both also had an interest in his failure. Mr. McCain because Mr. Frist was a potential presidential rival and Mr. Lott because he had taken his leadership post." "An interest in his failure." That sentence sings.
6) Are you kind? A raised middle finger to the NYT for it's fawning piece on Rep. Anthony Weiner [7-23-08]. How many times a year do political journalists write stories about folks in high office who treat their staff very badly only to excuse away the accounts of atrocious behavior? Just be sure to interview the resident staff (or former staff) sycophants who assure us that he's just a high-strung guy who's really a dedicated public servant. "Hey, it's okay that he beat me with the phone. We got HR369 passed yesterday!" Enough! Time for some common decency. Or heavy sedation.
7) Poppy's in the golf cart again! Just who's running the image department of the McCain campaign? And just what was Poppy's message to Lt. Commander McC? "John, let me tell you what we Eastern Establishment folk do when we lose."
8) Here they come! What's more disturbing? That Bob Barr is now on the ballot in Ohio or the fact that his campaign manager is Russell Verney? The Russell Verney - adviser to Ross Perot in 1992, Perot '96 campaign manager and founder of the Reform Party - who once kicked Jesse Ventura out of said "Party." Doesn't it all give you the willies? Look! There's Admiral Stockdale!
9) Thanks for saying it for us: Ken Khachigian, who knows a thing or two about GOP vice presidential candidates, writing in the WSJ [7-25-08] about McC's pending decision. The title? "Who'll Be McCain's Veep? Who Cares?"
10) At least he's not meeting with Madonna (Right?!): Obama's in the gym again! How many times can one shoot hoops in one day? But wouldn't it be great if he really was using those sessions to meet with veep candidates? Cue the theme music to "Secret Agent Man."
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Saul Alinsky never did satire
1) The New Yorker cover: The trouble with satire is always that point where it runs into the nebulous crossroads between Access Hollywood, Google and Grand Theft Auto. It's never the same after it goes through the blender.
2) Not saying that all third party people are posers, but... Jesse Ventura on not running for the Senate on "Larry King Live" [CNN 7-14-08]: "Larry, let me say this to you. It was a difficult decision. But it came down to almost there ----surfing versus the Senate. And I found surfing to be much more honorable than the Senate if I---for the next six years, because the ocean doesn't lie to you, the waves don't lie to you. My government does lie to me today."
3) Bush press conference on the economy: "I'm an optimist." Us too. But this just isn't really the time and place to brag about it.
4) "Idaho Is No Longer a Lock for Republicans" That was actually a headline in this week's Wall Street Journal. Ahhh. Okay. Let's not get too carried away now, shall we? It's still the land of the black helicopter.
5) The trouble with Lieberman: Dick Durbin on Senate Democrats getting fed up with Joe Lieberman's McCain thing: "This is a delicate situation." In the real world, when most folks hear those words from their boss they know they're on the way out.
6) The continuing adventures of the GOP and the Fossella seat: Now that Staten Island Republican leaders have endorsed businessman Robert Straniere as their new candidate to take the seat, former Borough President Guy Molinari tells the press: "It's unthinkable. If there's something I can do against him, I will do it." You gotta love it. For Guy, politics is still personal.
7) Rep. Tom Cole on John McCain's candidacy being good for the GOP: "He helps us change our image and recasts us as a maverick party interested in change." "Interested in change?" Sounds like you're making plans to watch the Discovery channel. And no, he does not make you a "maverick party." Why not change your name to "The Wild Stallions?"
8) John McCain on high tech: "I don't e-mail. I've never felt the particular need to e-mail." [NYT 7-13-08] Sounds like someone's in need of some social networking.
9) Repeat after me, first comes the trip, then comes the speech: Whose idea was it to let Obama talk about Iraq before actually going over there? And as good as taking Hagel along looks now, do they really know what they're going to get from him when it's over. He's not exactly "Mr. Predictable."
10) Mike Dukakis has a good idea: On the Jesse Jackson flap: "This moment only reinforces that we have to let the younger guys take the lead in politics, that they know the issues of today, that we live in a far different world than 20 years ago." Well said.
2) Not saying that all third party people are posers, but... Jesse Ventura on not running for the Senate on "Larry King Live" [CNN 7-14-08]: "Larry, let me say this to you. It was a difficult decision. But it came down to almost there ----surfing versus the Senate. And I found surfing to be much more honorable than the Senate if I---for the next six years, because the ocean doesn't lie to you, the waves don't lie to you. My government does lie to me today."
3) Bush press conference on the economy: "I'm an optimist." Us too. But this just isn't really the time and place to brag about it.
4) "Idaho Is No Longer a Lock for Republicans" That was actually a headline in this week's Wall Street Journal. Ahhh. Okay. Let's not get too carried away now, shall we? It's still the land of the black helicopter.
5) The trouble with Lieberman: Dick Durbin on Senate Democrats getting fed up with Joe Lieberman's McCain thing: "This is a delicate situation." In the real world, when most folks hear those words from their boss they know they're on the way out.
6) The continuing adventures of the GOP and the Fossella seat: Now that Staten Island Republican leaders have endorsed businessman Robert Straniere as their new candidate to take the seat, former Borough President Guy Molinari tells the press: "It's unthinkable. If there's something I can do against him, I will do it." You gotta love it. For Guy, politics is still personal.
7) Rep. Tom Cole on John McCain's candidacy being good for the GOP: "He helps us change our image and recasts us as a maverick party interested in change." "Interested in change?" Sounds like you're making plans to watch the Discovery channel. And no, he does not make you a "maverick party." Why not change your name to "The Wild Stallions?"
8) John McCain on high tech: "I don't e-mail. I've never felt the particular need to e-mail." [NYT 7-13-08] Sounds like someone's in need of some social networking.
9) Repeat after me, first comes the trip, then comes the speech: Whose idea was it to let Obama talk about Iraq before actually going over there? And as good as taking Hagel along looks now, do they really know what they're going to get from him when it's over. He's not exactly "Mr. Predictable."
10) Mike Dukakis has a good idea: On the Jesse Jackson flap: "This moment only reinforces that we have to let the younger guys take the lead in politics, that they know the issues of today, that we live in a far different world than 20 years ago." Well said.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Political Rule #214: Nothing is ever as it seems except for those instances in which it indeed is.
1) Mr. Mental Case: Mr. Phil "ready money [is] the most reliable friend you can have in American politics" Gramm will forever live out the maxim that academics teach and pols do. Why not send him off to Dayton, Ohio, to open a McCain campaign office among all those foreclosed homes abanoned by all the "whiners."
2) Mark Penn hires Karen Hughes: Have you no sense of common decency...uh, I mean timing? The Washington Post recently called the two "PR wizards." When exactly does the magic start? Have they been waiting for something important to come along?
3) Why people still read Novak: Love him or hate him, Robert Novak can still cut through the crap of Washington. On the recent Obama meeting with Clinton big-money people: "But, in the opinion of the Clintonites, he [Obama] did not open the door to his campaign, because he asked nothing of them. Big-money Democrats who could have expected to be named U.S. ambassadors by President Hillary Clinton realized that they would get nothing from a President Obama. The train had left the station, and they were not aboard." The whole problem explained in three simple sentences.
4) Dead Man Running: Jack Kevorkian has collected enough signatures to get on the ballot for the 9th Congressional District race in Michigan. He'll be the independent candidate facing Republican incumbent Joe Knollenberg and Democrat Gary Peters. Wouldn't it give you the creeps if your neighbor had a "Kevorkian for Congress" yard sign? Or a Kevorkian house party?
5) Psychodrama qu'est-ce que c'est? Creepy Bill Clinton returns to the Aspen Ideas Festival to remind the crowd: "If you know anybody who was a POW for any length of time, you will see, you go along for months or maybe even years and then something will happen and it will trigger all those bad dreams, and it will come back." And the next thing you know it's World War III!!!! Hey, I'm just sayin'.
6) Hot Mic! Comin' through here! Hot Mic! Rev. Jesse Jackson, the latest in the long line of clergymen imposing themselves in the middle of the 2008 presidential contest, blames his coarse message to Obama on a "hot mic." Now that would make for a great new reality show. Get Hulk Hogan's kid to host it.
7) Jesse Helms R.I.P.: Equally scorned and worshiped, an American original and a successful pol. As Ferrel Guillory, a figurehead of NC political journalism put it in the NYT obit [7-5-08], "He was a very polarizing politician. He was not a consensus builder. He didn't want everybody to vote for him. He just wanted enough." And what's so wrong with that?
8) Two political guys with fistfulls of cash walk into a bar: The news out of New York this week is that Rochester billionaire Tom Golisano, himself a three-time loser for governor of that state, will spend $5 million on this year's state legislative races in an effort to push a "reform" agenda. If a candidate agrees with his views, he'll pony up the cash. In a more traditional move, House Ways and Means Chairman Charlie Rangel has so far this year handed out $849,392 to Democrats running for Congress. Obviously planning for a rainy day.
9) Hey Joe, where you goin' with that nominating speech in your hand? The new website LiebermanMustGo.com has irked the Senator and his staff with their petition drive to get theDemocratic leadership to strip him of his rank in the party caucus and deny him a committee chairmanship. Lieberman spokesman Marshall Wittman said that the drive was the product of "old petty partisan politics." Aren't they the best kind?
10) From the folks who brought you the guillotine: Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's new CD, laced with love songs to her husband the President of France. Sample lyrics: "You're my orgy....I am burning for you like a pagan woman." Further evidence that French politics is not really politics. More like a fancy lunch. Name one American political spouse who could get away with saying this stuff in public. Mrs. Kucinich does not count.
2) Mark Penn hires Karen Hughes: Have you no sense of common decency...uh, I mean timing? The Washington Post recently called the two "PR wizards." When exactly does the magic start? Have they been waiting for something important to come along?
3) Why people still read Novak: Love him or hate him, Robert Novak can still cut through the crap of Washington. On the recent Obama meeting with Clinton big-money people: "But, in the opinion of the Clintonites, he [Obama] did not open the door to his campaign, because he asked nothing of them. Big-money Democrats who could have expected to be named U.S. ambassadors by President Hillary Clinton realized that they would get nothing from a President Obama. The train had left the station, and they were not aboard." The whole problem explained in three simple sentences.
4) Dead Man Running: Jack Kevorkian has collected enough signatures to get on the ballot for the 9th Congressional District race in Michigan. He'll be the independent candidate facing Republican incumbent Joe Knollenberg and Democrat Gary Peters. Wouldn't it give you the creeps if your neighbor had a "Kevorkian for Congress" yard sign? Or a Kevorkian house party?
5) Psychodrama qu'est-ce que c'est? Creepy Bill Clinton returns to the Aspen Ideas Festival to remind the crowd: "If you know anybody who was a POW for any length of time, you will see, you go along for months or maybe even years and then something will happen and it will trigger all those bad dreams, and it will come back." And the next thing you know it's World War III!!!! Hey, I'm just sayin'.
6) Hot Mic! Comin' through here! Hot Mic! Rev. Jesse Jackson, the latest in the long line of clergymen imposing themselves in the middle of the 2008 presidential contest, blames his coarse message to Obama on a "hot mic." Now that would make for a great new reality show. Get Hulk Hogan's kid to host it.
7) Jesse Helms R.I.P.: Equally scorned and worshiped, an American original and a successful pol. As Ferrel Guillory, a figurehead of NC political journalism put it in the NYT obit [7-5-08], "He was a very polarizing politician. He was not a consensus builder. He didn't want everybody to vote for him. He just wanted enough." And what's so wrong with that?
8) Two political guys with fistfulls of cash walk into a bar: The news out of New York this week is that Rochester billionaire Tom Golisano, himself a three-time loser for governor of that state, will spend $5 million on this year's state legislative races in an effort to push a "reform" agenda. If a candidate agrees with his views, he'll pony up the cash. In a more traditional move, House Ways and Means Chairman Charlie Rangel has so far this year handed out $849,392 to Democrats running for Congress. Obviously planning for a rainy day.
9) Hey Joe, where you goin' with that nominating speech in your hand? The new website LiebermanMustGo.com has irked the Senator and his staff with their petition drive to get theDemocratic leadership to strip him of his rank in the party caucus and deny him a committee chairmanship. Lieberman spokesman Marshall Wittman said that the drive was the product of "old petty partisan politics." Aren't they the best kind?
10) From the folks who brought you the guillotine: Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's new CD, laced with love songs to her husband the President of France. Sample lyrics: "You're my orgy....I am burning for you like a pagan woman." Further evidence that French politics is not really politics. More like a fancy lunch. Name one American political spouse who could get away with saying this stuff in public. Mrs. Kucinich does not count.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
What would John Adams do?
1) McCain campaigning down Colombia way: In perhaps the strangest campaign move since 2001 New Jersey GOP gubernatorial candidate Bret Schundler decided to campaign in Israel in September of that year (and found himself stuck there following the 9/11 attacks), Sen. McC has decided to go South for reasons his own folks can't explain. The good news is he's apparently polling well in the Bogota suburbs.
2) All roads lead back to "Predator": Following in the footsteps of fellow castmates Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura, former actor Sonny Landham has decided to run for elective office, challenging Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell in the Kentucky Senate race. Sonny will play the role of the Libertarian candidate (if he gets the 5,000 signatures to get on the ballot). Remember that scene where he takes on the Predator with just a hunting knife? It was a good death.
3) Obama and Bill finally speak: What did you think was going to happen? Should they have met under a bridge like Tony and Johnny Sack? Only New York politicos meet in their cars at night. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
4) Post Post-Modern Politics: One of McC's former Vietnamese jailers, Tran Trong Duyet, has endorsed his candidacy. "If I were an American voter, I would vote for John McCain," he said to the AP, explaining that McC was "tough, has extreme views, and is very conservative." He also looks forward to meeting "as two old friends." I hope the campaign has the foresight to avoid leaving them alone in a room. After all, if he could go after a Sandinista who didn't know him from Adam.....
5) Arianna advises Ob not to move to the center: Have you learned nothing about how American politics works? You've certainly been going on and on about it for years now. You don't have to like Nixon to admit he was right on the basics of modern presidential campaigning. It's why they call it a dance!
6) Endorsements ain't what they used to be: As Rep. Henry Cuellar said not so long ago, "I find that with any endorsement, you get half of their friends and all of their enemies." Case in point: This week Barbara Streisand endorsed Obama. Erik Estrada endorsed McCain. Do James Brolin and Larry Wilcox follow suit? Let the betting begin.
7) Speaking of endorsements: With Joe Lieberman clinging to McC like a third arm, just where is Hadassah? Isn't it time for some cablenet goffer to get her on tape concerning the '08 race? Does she do lunch with Cindy?
8) George Orwell, call your office: Those planning to protest at the Democratic National Convention in Denver this August will be kept far from the proceedings and well out of sight behind fenced enclosures. The protesters refer to the fencing as "freedom cages." Democracy apparently ain't what it used to be either.
9) Just think of what we're missing had he been the nominee: Speaking up on behalf of McC, Rudy Giuliani told reporters this week, "I thought I was best qualified [to be president], but I thought John was number two." Hey, thanks.
10) Politics is a learning experience: It may have taken the threat of voters being mean to him but Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal flipped and vetoed the bill that would have given state legislators a hefty pay raise. Let's see, break a promise to state legislators or face a recall. Hmmm... Go back on my word or face a recall. Hmmmm.... It's okay governor. It'll get easier now.
2) All roads lead back to "Predator": Following in the footsteps of fellow castmates Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura, former actor Sonny Landham has decided to run for elective office, challenging Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell in the Kentucky Senate race. Sonny will play the role of the Libertarian candidate (if he gets the 5,000 signatures to get on the ballot). Remember that scene where he takes on the Predator with just a hunting knife? It was a good death.
3) Obama and Bill finally speak: What did you think was going to happen? Should they have met under a bridge like Tony and Johnny Sack? Only New York politicos meet in their cars at night. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
4) Post Post-Modern Politics: One of McC's former Vietnamese jailers, Tran Trong Duyet, has endorsed his candidacy. "If I were an American voter, I would vote for John McCain," he said to the AP, explaining that McC was "tough, has extreme views, and is very conservative." He also looks forward to meeting "as two old friends." I hope the campaign has the foresight to avoid leaving them alone in a room. After all, if he could go after a Sandinista who didn't know him from Adam.....
5) Arianna advises Ob not to move to the center: Have you learned nothing about how American politics works? You've certainly been going on and on about it for years now. You don't have to like Nixon to admit he was right on the basics of modern presidential campaigning. It's why they call it a dance!
6) Endorsements ain't what they used to be: As Rep. Henry Cuellar said not so long ago, "I find that with any endorsement, you get half of their friends and all of their enemies." Case in point: This week Barbara Streisand endorsed Obama. Erik Estrada endorsed McCain. Do James Brolin and Larry Wilcox follow suit? Let the betting begin.
7) Speaking of endorsements: With Joe Lieberman clinging to McC like a third arm, just where is Hadassah? Isn't it time for some cablenet goffer to get her on tape concerning the '08 race? Does she do lunch with Cindy?
8) George Orwell, call your office: Those planning to protest at the Democratic National Convention in Denver this August will be kept far from the proceedings and well out of sight behind fenced enclosures. The protesters refer to the fencing as "freedom cages." Democracy apparently ain't what it used to be either.
9) Just think of what we're missing had he been the nominee: Speaking up on behalf of McC, Rudy Giuliani told reporters this week, "I thought I was best qualified [to be president], but I thought John was number two." Hey, thanks.
10) Politics is a learning experience: It may have taken the threat of voters being mean to him but Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal flipped and vetoed the bill that would have given state legislators a hefty pay raise. Let's see, break a promise to state legislators or face a recall. Hmmm... Go back on my word or face a recall. Hmmmm.... It's okay governor. It'll get easier now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)