1) I knew they should have gone with that "Wow Towel" guy: Note to Bobby J., next time you address the nation do not assume the body posture of Andy Kaufman's "Latka" character from "Taxi." You spoke like someone else had control of your mind. Oh wait, I guess they did.
2) If I stay there will be trouble....: Two things are pretty obvious at this point in the Roland Burris saga. First, never send Dick Durbin to muscle anybody. Second, Burris must be holding the Immunity Idol. It's the only thing that makes sense.
3) Maybe they'll start dating: In what's shaping up as potentionally the most entertaining Senate race of the 2010 cycle, both Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council and porn star Stormy Daniels are reportedly interested in running in the GOP primary against incumbent Louisiana Sen. David Vitter. If things keep going this way, one day soon TMZ will rule this town too.
4) Flash! T.R. spins in grave! While promoting his new tome, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the America Dream," Samuel J. Wurzelbacker (i.e. "Joe") makes his second recent stop in D.C. to speak about all things conservative. In response to a question from Politico about the possibility of his running for a House seat, Joe said, "If I became a congressman I would literally bang people's heads together and probably get in a lot of trouble." [Insert Moe Howard reference here.]
5) You can't Google institutional memory: West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd came out swinging at the Obama Administration this week, charging that their plans to create various policy "czar" positions in the White House "can threaten the Consitutional system of checks and balances. At the worst, White House staff have taken direction and control of programmatic areas that are the statutory responsibility of Senate-confirmed officials." Scoff if you must but once he goes, there goes the Chamber's last link to the Roman Senate - and the last person to understand why that matters. But we will still have plenty of folks who Twitter. Oh goody.
6) Profiles in Courage 2009: Minnesota's GOP Governor Tim Pawlenty agrees with others in his party who have criticized the president's stimulus package, calling it a "meandering spending buffet." However, as he told the WP, he is "going to accept the money" on behalf of his state because, "For many Republicans, it's not our bill, but it is now the law..."
7) A politician without a clue is a former politician: In this week's case of yet another politician who "didn't know it was a racial stereotype," Los Alamitos, California, Mayor Dean Grose apologized for sending out an e-mail photo which depicted the White House lawn as a watermelon patch. And Mr. Mayor, BTW, in case you also didn't know, a stereotype does not refer to "SONY."
8) Alert to political history buffs: As to all this "twittering" that went on in the chamber during the President's speech to the joint session this week, does anybody remember Hubert H. sitting there playing with an Etch A Sketch while LBJ was talking? Dana Milbank in his WP column reports on Texas Rep. John Culberson (R) doing a pre-speech live streaming video on Qik.com using his camera phone and then breathlessly assuring his audience that "I'll do one more broadcast and then I will tweet from the floor." Where are we headed, people?
9) Why business success rarely equals political success, Volume 46: Former chief executive of eBay, Meg Whitman (she of the pointless and dull 2008 GOP Convention speech), says that she is running for governor of California in 2010. She told the NYT, "I'm pretty convinced that the next governor of California is going to have to plant herself in Sacramento 24/7, 365 days a year. It's going to require listening, understanding policy alternatives, and building collaboration and relationships that allow the state to move forward. It's another eBay." No, it's not. It's really not. Somebody tell her now. Please.
10) On the other hand: There's money. There's real money. There's Stimulus money. And then there's Bloomberg money. As the New York Post reports, New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg intends to begin his reelection TV spots "well before May 18," the date on which he started running spots during his 2005 reelection campaign. That year he spent $1 million a week on TV spots alone. This year he's also set to open "nearly two dozen campaign offices around the five boroughs as early as April." Yo Mike! When can we get some of that, ya know, walkin' around money, ya know?"
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
"The Chair recognizes the distinguished gentleman from Ponzi Land"
1) Hey Mikey! Way to build that big tent! Newly minted RNC chief Michael Steele says that the GOP needs "to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets." Get me Matt Roloff! Stat! (And just what does "uptick" mean, exactly?)
2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.
3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.
4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."
5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.
6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.
7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....
8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.
9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."
10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]
2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.
3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.
4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."
5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.
6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.
7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....
8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.
9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."
10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]
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