1) Please! There are children listening! Riffing off of Ross Perot's 17-year-old image of the dangers of NAFTA, Ohio Rep. Steve LaTourette (R) takes to the House floor to proclaim, "Today there's another sucking sound. The tightening of sphincters on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue." At least he didn't use a chart and pointer to illustrate his argument.
2) The Albert Camus of the GOP: House GOP leader John Boehner (R., Ohio) on where his folks stand now: "As I told my colleagues, we don't have enough votes to legislate. We are not in the majority. We are not kind-of in the minority; we are in a hole. They ought to get the idea out of their minds that they are legislators. But what they can be is communicators." Communicators from down in the hole? Huh? You mean like the kids who fall in the well? Why not just start talking about your collective dark night of the soul?
3) We don't go for that up in these parts: New Hampshire Sen. Judd Gregg (R) on the Obama Administration's idea of bypassing that bipartisanship thingy on health care legislation: "That would be the Chicago approch to governing: Strong-arm it through. You're talking about the exact opposite of bipartisanship. You're talking about running over the minority, putting them in cement and throwing them in the Chicago River." I think you're confusing Chicago with New Jersey. But hey, how do you do it up in New England? Take them ice fishing after the first thaw?
4) Desperate times call for better wisecracks: New Hampshire (again with New Hamphire? What's up with these guys?) Rep. Paul Hodes (D) really let A.I.G. CEO Edward Liddy have it this week, telling the witness at the House Financial Services Subcommittee hearing that "A.I.G. stands for Arrogance, Incompetence, and Greed." Why do we feel that you spent the entire time waiting to be called on to speak just praying that nobody else on the panel used that one? Whew! Bet he never saw that one coming.
5) Don't you love it when an election campaign comes gift wrapped? Sorry Gov. Paterson. We're sure you've heard that there's this crisis down on Wall Street and well, Attorney General Andy Cuomo is raising hell about it. And people really like that. So, you know, next year shouldn't come as a surprise, okay? [And you really know Cuomo is riding high when his only critic is former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who went on WNYC radio this week to say that the bonuses are merely "the flavor of the month." Dude, your political instincts are sharp as ever! Just leave the money on the table, okay?]
6) Worst caucus name ever: Either incredibly calculating or deeply hidden Ob Administration secret agent Sen. Evan Bayh (D., Indiana) goes on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" to announce that he is leading a group of 16 moderate Senate Democrats to foresee that things like spending don't get too far out of control. And that he's calling his group "the Practicality Caucus." Wasn't that one of the numbers in "The Pajama Game?" What, was "The Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Caucus" taken?
7) Hey everybody! There's a Senate race in Connecticut! Note to Chris Dodd: When did it all start to go wrong? Was it moving the whole family to Iowa two years back? Geez, who'd have thought we'd be hearing from Rob Simmons again so soon? And just for future reference, never stand in front of a microphone and begin a sentence with the words, "Had I known at the time.." 'cause nobody really listens to what comes next anyway.
8) Why Ross Thomas should be required reading before anybody gets in politics: Rep. Paul Kanjorski (D., Pennsylvania) summed up so much of this week's mess with the observation: "I'm sick and tired of hearing the administration and the Secretary of the Treasury say, 'I just found out about it.'" Things started to go downhill in American politics when folks ignored the importance of the guy [or gal] who used to be known as "the go-between." Tweets just don't do it.
9) Worst "Big New Idea" ever: Thankfully not everyone is really going to jump on Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold's (D) bandwagon to change the Constitution to require Senate vacancies to be filled only by elections. It's people like this who want to take out every bit of fun left in politics.
10) Introducing "The Taft Diet" The recent NYT piece on the new National Archives "Big!" exhibit [a collection of all that is large sized in American history] contains not only some anecdotes on our biggest President - 340-pound William Howard Taft - but also his own note about losing 70 pounds after he left office: "I have dropped potatoes entirely from my bill of fare and also bread in all forms." He stopped drinking and went on to observe that "Too much flesh is bad for any man." He would've been a great get for Chelsea Lately.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Pol is to Politics as Twit is to Twitter
1) Mikey, we hardly knew ye: How long before Grandmaster Steele reaches out to Bobby Brown? Really, the only way the RNC could be any more entertaining is if they had put Gary Busey in charge. Then they'd all be riding big choppers and attending ritual fire ceremonies. Hey, there's still time....
2) Best pop culture "grok" of politics this week: On this week's "Big Love" [HBO 3-8-09] Bill's American Indian business partner Jerry explains why the Western Utes have put the kibosh on their casino plans: "Welcome to the dirty world of tribal politics. We haven't been good with the Utes since the Blackfoot War of 1877. They're an arrogant treaty tribe. Not all of us had it handed to us on a silver platter." Proving again that politics is as all American as cherry pie. Sorry, Cardinal Richelieu.
3) "Ladies and gentlemen, P. T. Barnum lives!" The new "Man in Black" has the Grumpy Old Party runing scared. Or at least driving slowly past the car wreck and saying nothing. Rush, time to cover "Hurt." Really.
4) Well at least somebody found a theme: Sen. Richard Shelby, interviewed on ABC's "This Week" [3-8-09] first opined that "The American people don't trust the banks." Then, when asked about whether he'd be okay with the fall of Citibank, replied, "Well, whatever." Can you hear it, "The GOP, whatever, it's all good." Let the focus groups begin.
5) Never have so few talked so long about so little: Rick Santorum and Greta Van Sustern tackle the evils of earmarks [Fox 3-9-09]. Stunning in their lack of ability to comprehend what politics is all about. Obvious that neither ever had to get a bridge fixed. Really. Neither.
6) Best political writing of late: Richard Cohen on what's likely coming our way: "The rage that is coming will change the politics of our time. Barack Obama will either figure out how to channel it, as Franklin D. Roosevelt did, or he will be flattened by it, as Lyndon Johnson was. Obama's challenge might even be greater than FDR's." [NYDN 3-3-09]
7) Wealthy, famous, inexperienced candidate alert! The buzz that columnist Larry Kudlow may be considering a run against Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd next year. Larry, Larry, Larry. Sure, Dodd's a bit behind now but he does scream back and he's got the only Senate Committee chairmanship that really matters this cycle. Twenty months of roasting Wall Street on a spit will make him a new man. You just watch.
8) Here comes the political "Catcher in the Rye" Rod Blagojevich has garnered a six-figure-deal to spill everything about what his publicist terms "the dark side of politics." So I guess there's going to be a lot of stories about having to eat deep-fried candy bars and getting your wife's third-cousin a job. Am I right people?
9) The most entertaining 2010 U.S. Senate race continues: Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning continues to war against NRSC Chairman John Cornyn and fellow KTY Sen. Mitch McConnell, both of whom want him out of his reelection race. Says one GOP fundraiser interviewed by Politico [3-3-09], "The easiest way to get rid of [Bunning] is not give him any money." Well, yeah, except that he's obviously gone to ground and will be running this campaign from the bunker.
10) Advise and Consent: First the WP runs a pointless front-page story about the old FBI investigation into whether LBJ aide Jack Valenti was gay. Then the WSJ runs a story implicating LBJ press aide Bill Moyers' participation in the affair. Then Moyers writes a letter to the WSJ defending himself and alluding to his working in a Senate office building the day a gunshot rang out one floor above him as "a U.S. Senator comitted suicide over his son's outing." For those interested in political history, it was Wyoming Sen. Lester C. Hunt. Hunt's son had been arrrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover male police officer in Lafayette Square. The story goes that Republican senators blackmailed Hunt, forcing him to resign or have his son be outed in the press back home. Hunt was a Democrat and the Wyoming Gov. was a Republican. So Hunt brought a rifle into his Senate office and killed himself.
2) Best pop culture "grok" of politics this week: On this week's "Big Love" [HBO 3-8-09] Bill's American Indian business partner Jerry explains why the Western Utes have put the kibosh on their casino plans: "Welcome to the dirty world of tribal politics. We haven't been good with the Utes since the Blackfoot War of 1877. They're an arrogant treaty tribe. Not all of us had it handed to us on a silver platter." Proving again that politics is as all American as cherry pie. Sorry, Cardinal Richelieu.
3) "Ladies and gentlemen, P. T. Barnum lives!" The new "Man in Black" has the Grumpy Old Party runing scared. Or at least driving slowly past the car wreck and saying nothing. Rush, time to cover "Hurt." Really.
4) Well at least somebody found a theme: Sen. Richard Shelby, interviewed on ABC's "This Week" [3-8-09] first opined that "The American people don't trust the banks." Then, when asked about whether he'd be okay with the fall of Citibank, replied, "Well, whatever." Can you hear it, "The GOP, whatever, it's all good." Let the focus groups begin.
5) Never have so few talked so long about so little: Rick Santorum and Greta Van Sustern tackle the evils of earmarks [Fox 3-9-09]. Stunning in their lack of ability to comprehend what politics is all about. Obvious that neither ever had to get a bridge fixed. Really. Neither.
6) Best political writing of late: Richard Cohen on what's likely coming our way: "The rage that is coming will change the politics of our time. Barack Obama will either figure out how to channel it, as Franklin D. Roosevelt did, or he will be flattened by it, as Lyndon Johnson was. Obama's challenge might even be greater than FDR's." [NYDN 3-3-09]
7) Wealthy, famous, inexperienced candidate alert! The buzz that columnist Larry Kudlow may be considering a run against Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd next year. Larry, Larry, Larry. Sure, Dodd's a bit behind now but he does scream back and he's got the only Senate Committee chairmanship that really matters this cycle. Twenty months of roasting Wall Street on a spit will make him a new man. You just watch.
8) Here comes the political "Catcher in the Rye" Rod Blagojevich has garnered a six-figure-deal to spill everything about what his publicist terms "the dark side of politics." So I guess there's going to be a lot of stories about having to eat deep-fried candy bars and getting your wife's third-cousin a job. Am I right people?
9) The most entertaining 2010 U.S. Senate race continues: Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning continues to war against NRSC Chairman John Cornyn and fellow KTY Sen. Mitch McConnell, both of whom want him out of his reelection race. Says one GOP fundraiser interviewed by Politico [3-3-09], "The easiest way to get rid of [Bunning] is not give him any money." Well, yeah, except that he's obviously gone to ground and will be running this campaign from the bunker.
10) Advise and Consent: First the WP runs a pointless front-page story about the old FBI investigation into whether LBJ aide Jack Valenti was gay. Then the WSJ runs a story implicating LBJ press aide Bill Moyers' participation in the affair. Then Moyers writes a letter to the WSJ defending himself and alluding to his working in a Senate office building the day a gunshot rang out one floor above him as "a U.S. Senator comitted suicide over his son's outing." For those interested in political history, it was Wyoming Sen. Lester C. Hunt. Hunt's son had been arrrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover male police officer in Lafayette Square. The story goes that Republican senators blackmailed Hunt, forcing him to resign or have his son be outed in the press back home. Hunt was a Democrat and the Wyoming Gov. was a Republican. So Hunt brought a rifle into his Senate office and killed himself.
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