1) The Rules of Washington: #513: "Never throw your former fellow Congressional Intern under the bus." Uber Congressional election expert Charlie Cook, on just-convicted former Louisiana Cong. William Jefferson, whom Cook served alongside as a Congressional intern back in the 1970s: "It's a case of 'Here's a guy who grew up very poor, he wanted to be in Congress and politics, but he just made a decision that he wasn't going to be poor again.' It just broke my heart." Hey, more to the point, did you ever see what he kept in his "lunch bag" in the office refrigerator?
2) Can you take this and put it in a box and sell it? Senate Finance Committee Chair Max Baucus (D., Mont.), on the need for reforming the health care system: "We have to work together to find out a better solution, which is still a uniquely American solution, which is public and private. We're not, you know, Great Britain. We're not Canada. We're not Netherlands. We're America."
3) The Rupert Pupkin of American Politics: Even after President Obama called Cambridge, Massachusetts, police St. Jim Crowly to apologize for saying the police had acted "stupidly" in arresting Harvard Prof. Henry Gates, GOP Cong. Thad McCotter was still pushing legislation he introduced to demand that the President apologize. Just 48 hours prior to the White House "Beer Summit," McCotter's bill had been co-signed by only three other of his fellow House Republicans. "Hey MAAAA!!!! I'm votin' here!!!!!"
4) Political buried treasures: The best thing about Time's recent cover story about the last days of the Bush-Cheney relationship (besides giving us a glimpse of a confoundingly politically astute president (how did he hide that?)) was the anonymous quote about old Washington hand Fred Fielding: "Freddy isn't afraid of anyone. He will slit your throat with a razor blade while he is yawning."
5) A rip in the political fabric: Looking disturbingly too much like former House Speaker Newt Gingrich's spokesman Tony Blankley, Joe Piscopo appeared on FOX's "Hannity" show to offer his take on the issues of the day, particularly health care reform. What's next, Chuck Norris on the "birther" issue? Of wait,.....yeah......never mind......
6) Hey Joe! Distract them with that thing you do.... After Vice President Joe Biden's recent comments about Russia being a weak nation were downplayed by the Obama Administration, the NYT ran a piece just chock full of Russian realpolitik. Alexei Pushkov, anchor of a popular current events program on Moscow television said, "Biden has said this in such a way that the whole world heard it. And then there are secret, furtive calls in the night, dragging Russian officials from their supper. They want to say this is not true. But somehow everybody still thinks it is." And this from Andrei Ryabov, political analyst at Moscow's Carnegie Center: "Nothing accidental can happen in this system. Everything has a hidden meaning."
7) And you should see the looks he gives them..... Embattled Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd (D) recently sent out a fundraising solicitation seeking support for next year's reelection fight. Seeking to position the Chair of the Senate Banking Committee as no friend of Wall Street, the solicitation claims, "The lobbyists can't get meetings with Chris. He won't return their phone calls. He even yells at them during hearings."
8) GOP Vision Quest, take 34: Two GOP Senators recently offered their own views on "what's wrong" with the Grand Old Party. First, the much-quoted Columbus Dispatch interview with Ohio Sen. George Voinovich, in which he offered: 'We got too many Jim DeMints and Tom Coburns. It's the Southerners. They get on TV and go 'errrr, errrr.' People hear them and say, 'These people, they're Southerners. The party's being taken over by Southerners. What the hell they got to do with Ohio?" And then there's South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, on the majority of GOP Senators opposing the Sotomayor nomination for the Supreme Court: "You're seeing what I'm afraid is going to be the future. It's Mideast politics and Mideast politics, when it comes to judging, will not serve the judiciary well in the long run."
9) When debating public policy, always head for the bottom line: Political analyst Mark Shields, on Inside Washington (7/31/09), in response to talk that a new federal health care insurance program might mean organ rationing: "That's why we need the matchmaker in New Jersey who can get the kidney for you."
10) Things that should make us all feel better about our messy Democracy thingy: Former Liberian President Charles Taylor, on trial in The Hague for war crimes, denied the accusations of a witness who testified that he ate human flesh alongside Taylor at a meeting of his secret society, Poro. Said Taylor, "It never happened. I never ordered any combatant to eat anyone." At the same time, we can never forget one of the most chilling candidate endorsements ever recorded, that being a Liberian voter who supported Taylor in the 1997 election that put him in the presidency: "He killed my mother, and he killed my father, and I don't care - I love Charles Taylor." (NY Post 7-22-97)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Politics of Summer '09: "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'!"
{Editor's note: Dear reader, it's been more than three months since our last meeting. If we can all agree that the much over-used aphorism, "A week is an eternity in politics," is way-outdated (more like "six hours" in our current time frame), then the three months and eight days since the last "List" has left us in a new space-time continuum. Back in April some people in this town were actually concerned that Speaker Nancy Pelosi might lose her station over her claims of CIA deceit. How times have changed. On with the show!}
1) Creepiest recent statement by an American pol: Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, writing on her Facebook page on the media blitz following her resignation announcement: "How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it's about country." Does the name Gen. James Mattoon Scott ring a bell? Or give you the shivers?
2) Scariest recent statement by a legitimate political consultant (okay, a hack): Former McCain adviser Mark Salter, commenting on Palin, "The skills she has are formidable and unteachable." Meaning: "Call me."
3) As Bob Dole once described Carter, Ford, and Nixon: "See no evil, hear no evil, and evil." The ever-entertaining vault of Nixon White House tapes released another gem in June, with Nixon heard explaining to an aide that no matter how much he disliked it, "There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white." Hey, this is the guy who said Jerry Rubin was obscene, right?
4) How politics works "over there" Putting the recent Iranian almost-revolution into perspective, Karim Sadjadpour, political analyst with the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, told the New York Times, "At a political level what's taking place now, among many other things, is the 20-year rivalry between Khamenei and Rafsanjani coming to a head. It's an Iranian version of the Corleones and the Tattaglias; there are no good guys and bad guys, only bad and worse."
5) Has your elected official offended you today? Too many to mention, so let's go with New York Democratic Rep. Carolyn Maloney, likely 2010 U.S. Senate contender, who criticized sitting Democratic Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand for reportedly supporting "English-only education" while in Puerto Rico. Said Maloney, "I got a call from someone from Puerto Rico...and he said it was like saying n----r to a Puerto Rican." Maloney afterwards apologized for "having repeated a word I find disgusting." And of course, there's Arkansas State Sen. Kim Hendren (who hopes to join the U.S. Senate) referring to New York Sen. Chuck Schumer as "that Jew" during a speech before a state GOP organization. Hendren later explained, "When I referred to him as Jewish, it wasn't because I don't like Jewish people. I shouldn't have gotten into this Jewish business because it distracts from the issue." He went on to say that the Jew he most admired was Jesus and that he also liked Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman.
6) The GOP in Aztlan: Your pick. First, there's Oklahoma GOP Sen. Tom Coburn during the Sonia Sotomayor hearings last week telling the Judge to her face that under a certain scenario, "You'll have lots of 'splainin' to do.'" Tommy, still using Ricky Ricardo as your touchstone of Latino culture? Then there's the hapless Dennis Miller telling FOX's Bill O'Reilly that he would have preferred that the GOP not get into a fight over the Sotomayor confirmation, saying, "They should have laid down on this and gotten some street cred in the barrio." Who talks like that? "Hey essay, the judge will see you now."
7) As The Bard recently noted, "Beyond here lies nothin'" Apparently having run out of deep-thinkers at this point, the annual GOP Congressional fundraising dinner in June featured actor Jon Voight (Yes, that was Jon Voight's car.) as the master of ceremonies. Shifting easily into his recent villainous role on this past season's "24," Voight roused the crowd with: "We are becoming a weak nation...Free the nation from this Obama oppression...Bring an end to this false prophet Obama." Hey Jonny, seen Angelina? The kids?
8) From the "Washington is..." Dept.: Some observations about this town are forever. Note Nancy Reagan's recent advice to Michelle Obama to host lots of state dinners at the White House. Said Nancy, "You don't have to do anything. Just have a good time, and do a little business. That's the way Washington works." Still true, unlike the observation of Watergate burglar Bernard Barker, cited in most of his obits in June: "Washington's a place to keep away from. Cubans don't do very well up there." Times have changed, Bernie.
9) Yard signs we want: Omar Bongo Ondimba, 73, died in June. He ruled the nation of Gabon for the last 41 years, most of the time viewed as not such a good guy. As his WashPost obit noted, "Favorite to succeed Mr. Bongo is his 50-year-old son, Ali Ben Bongo." C'mon, "Go with Bongo!" It writes itself.
10) Best "found" Pop Culture Political Insight in recent months: In the original film adaption of "The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3," the ailing New York City Mayor is still bedridden at the onset of the crisis. While he bemoans the one million-dollar ransom demand of the terrorists who hold 18 citizens on a subway train, his nurse says, "I know a million dollars sounds like a lot of money, but just think of what you're going to get." "What?" asks the Mayor. "Eighteen sure votes," she replies.
1) Creepiest recent statement by an American pol: Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, writing on her Facebook page on the media blitz following her resignation announcement: "How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it's about country." Does the name Gen. James Mattoon Scott ring a bell? Or give you the shivers?
2) Scariest recent statement by a legitimate political consultant (okay, a hack): Former McCain adviser Mark Salter, commenting on Palin, "The skills she has are formidable and unteachable." Meaning: "Call me."
3) As Bob Dole once described Carter, Ford, and Nixon: "See no evil, hear no evil, and evil." The ever-entertaining vault of Nixon White House tapes released another gem in June, with Nixon heard explaining to an aide that no matter how much he disliked it, "There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white." Hey, this is the guy who said Jerry Rubin was obscene, right?
4) How politics works "over there" Putting the recent Iranian almost-revolution into perspective, Karim Sadjadpour, political analyst with the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, told the New York Times, "At a political level what's taking place now, among many other things, is the 20-year rivalry between Khamenei and Rafsanjani coming to a head. It's an Iranian version of the Corleones and the Tattaglias; there are no good guys and bad guys, only bad and worse."
5) Has your elected official offended you today? Too many to mention, so let's go with New York Democratic Rep. Carolyn Maloney, likely 2010 U.S. Senate contender, who criticized sitting Democratic Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand for reportedly supporting "English-only education" while in Puerto Rico. Said Maloney, "I got a call from someone from Puerto Rico...and he said it was like saying n----r to a Puerto Rican." Maloney afterwards apologized for "having repeated a word I find disgusting." And of course, there's Arkansas State Sen. Kim Hendren (who hopes to join the U.S. Senate) referring to New York Sen. Chuck Schumer as "that Jew" during a speech before a state GOP organization. Hendren later explained, "When I referred to him as Jewish, it wasn't because I don't like Jewish people. I shouldn't have gotten into this Jewish business because it distracts from the issue." He went on to say that the Jew he most admired was Jesus and that he also liked Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman.
6) The GOP in Aztlan: Your pick. First, there's Oklahoma GOP Sen. Tom Coburn during the Sonia Sotomayor hearings last week telling the Judge to her face that under a certain scenario, "You'll have lots of 'splainin' to do.'" Tommy, still using Ricky Ricardo as your touchstone of Latino culture? Then there's the hapless Dennis Miller telling FOX's Bill O'Reilly that he would have preferred that the GOP not get into a fight over the Sotomayor confirmation, saying, "They should have laid down on this and gotten some street cred in the barrio." Who talks like that? "Hey essay, the judge will see you now."
7) As The Bard recently noted, "Beyond here lies nothin'" Apparently having run out of deep-thinkers at this point, the annual GOP Congressional fundraising dinner in June featured actor Jon Voight (Yes, that was Jon Voight's car.) as the master of ceremonies. Shifting easily into his recent villainous role on this past season's "24," Voight roused the crowd with: "We are becoming a weak nation...Free the nation from this Obama oppression...Bring an end to this false prophet Obama." Hey Jonny, seen Angelina? The kids?
8) From the "Washington is..." Dept.: Some observations about this town are forever. Note Nancy Reagan's recent advice to Michelle Obama to host lots of state dinners at the White House. Said Nancy, "You don't have to do anything. Just have a good time, and do a little business. That's the way Washington works." Still true, unlike the observation of Watergate burglar Bernard Barker, cited in most of his obits in June: "Washington's a place to keep away from. Cubans don't do very well up there." Times have changed, Bernie.
9) Yard signs we want: Omar Bongo Ondimba, 73, died in June. He ruled the nation of Gabon for the last 41 years, most of the time viewed as not such a good guy. As his WashPost obit noted, "Favorite to succeed Mr. Bongo is his 50-year-old son, Ali Ben Bongo." C'mon, "Go with Bongo!" It writes itself.
10) Best "found" Pop Culture Political Insight in recent months: In the original film adaption of "The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3," the ailing New York City Mayor is still bedridden at the onset of the crisis. While he bemoans the one million-dollar ransom demand of the terrorists who hold 18 citizens on a subway train, his nurse says, "I know a million dollars sounds like a lot of money, but just think of what you're going to get." "What?" asks the Mayor. "Eighteen sure votes," she replies.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tea Parties + State Secession = Piracy on the high seas (kinda)
1) Whistling past the political graveyard: Club for Growth Grand Poobah Pat Toomey, who almost won the 2004 GOP primary against Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter and has a good chance of winning the 2010 GOP primary but virtually no chance of wining the 2010 general election, is back for a second try. The GOP Don Quixote tells the WP: "Rick Santorum lost because it was 2006. It was a terrible year for Republicans. It has nothing to do with 2010." Yes, but everything to do with terrain. And registration is a whipsaw.
2) It's not a sin: Former Hill staffer and now K St. lobbyist Daryl Owen, writing in a WP op-ed [4-3-09]: "I spent 12 years on Capitol Hill...Since then I have been a registered lobbyist. Arguably I have contributed more to public policy from the private sector than I did from the public side....It is because exposure to the private sector has given me insight and perpective I could never have developed as a Senate employee. That knowledge has dovetailed with what I learned on the Hill to make me a useful channel of communication between two worlds that have only the weakest understanding of each other."
3) Welcome to Glennbeckistan: Gov. Rick Perry, he of the "It's my state and I'll secceed if I want to," land of Texas, joined with House sponsors of a resolution affirming state sovereignty. Perry, facing a tough reelection fight, said, "I believe that our federal government has become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of our citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state." Hey Rick, we'll check back with you during hurricane season (God forbid!).
4) He named names! Well, at least one. Channeling the ghost of Joe McCarthy, Alabama Rep. Spencer Bachus (R) told the Birmingham News last week that there were 17 Socialists serving in the current Congress. Asked to name names, Spencer offered up only one - Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders - who in the past has identified himself as a Democratic Socialist. Spence, you started this. Go ahead, name the names. 16 to go.
5) A pol who knew the difference: R.I.P. Stephen Minarik III, a New York State GOP political operative who served as state party chair from 2004 to 2006. According to his NYT obit [4-15-09], Minarik never yearned to be a candidate himself: "I love getting people elected. I never wanted to be elected myself. There is a huge difference between being a candidate and being an operative. A candidate is out front every day. He or she has to shake hands and smile. I don't have the personality for that."
6) Do Middle Eastern pols blame the Jinn? No doubt planning for some self-deluded political comeback, disgraced former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer (D) explained to Matt Lauer on the "Today" show [4-6-09] that he's been doing lots of introspection about his addiction to high-end call girls: "I've tried to think about it deeply, address it. There are no excuses. I have tried to address these gremlins, confront them." Let us know how that works out.
7) As Curly Howard once said to his brother Moe, "I try to think, but nothing happens!" Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was back in the news this week after it was revealed that her nomineee to be state Attorney General had in the past referred to gays as "degenerates," had defended a high-school student's art-project depiction of a Ku Klux Klansman, and had (alledgely) once opined that "If a guy can't rape his wife, who's he gonna rape?" Ya know, Sarah, it's not too late to start a career as a pageant mom.
8) Politics is supposed to be about give and take but mostly take: In the midst of defending his existential angst about taking some but not all of the federal stimulus funds designated for his state, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford told the NYT [4-4-09]: "I think the fatal flaw of a lot of people in politics is that they want to be loved. I sleep like a baby at night." Let's see how he's sleeping come 2012.
9) When men were men and journalists were CIA assets: Inexplicably, most news media ignored the passing of former journalist Tom Braden, 92, on April 3rd. A syndicated newspaper columnist, creature of Washington and former CIA official, Braden was the liberal counterpart to conservative Pat Buchanan on CNN's original version of "Crossfire" back in the early 1980s, before John McLaughlin taught everyone to start screaming on political talk shows. An original member of Nixon's "enemies list," Braden was Old School and there's just not enough of his generation around this town anymore.
10) Uncle Bob talks Uncle Sam: After opining to interviewer Bill Flanagan that "Politics is entertainment. It's a sport. It's for the well groomed and well heeled. The impeccably dressed. Party animals. Politicians are interchangeable," Bob Dylan went on to gush over President Barack Obama's life story, offering that "his mother was a Kansas girl....with deep roots. You know, like Kansas bloody Kansas. John Brown the insurrectionist. Jesse James and Quantrill. Bushwhackers, Guerillas. Wizard of Oz Kansas," and that Obama's father was "An African intellectual. Bantu, Masai, Griot type heritage - cattle raiders, lion killers." Thanks, Bob.
2) It's not a sin: Former Hill staffer and now K St. lobbyist Daryl Owen, writing in a WP op-ed [4-3-09]: "I spent 12 years on Capitol Hill...Since then I have been a registered lobbyist. Arguably I have contributed more to public policy from the private sector than I did from the public side....It is because exposure to the private sector has given me insight and perpective I could never have developed as a Senate employee. That knowledge has dovetailed with what I learned on the Hill to make me a useful channel of communication between two worlds that have only the weakest understanding of each other."
3) Welcome to Glennbeckistan: Gov. Rick Perry, he of the "It's my state and I'll secceed if I want to," land of Texas, joined with House sponsors of a resolution affirming state sovereignty. Perry, facing a tough reelection fight, said, "I believe that our federal government has become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of our citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state." Hey Rick, we'll check back with you during hurricane season (God forbid!).
4) He named names! Well, at least one. Channeling the ghost of Joe McCarthy, Alabama Rep. Spencer Bachus (R) told the Birmingham News last week that there were 17 Socialists serving in the current Congress. Asked to name names, Spencer offered up only one - Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders - who in the past has identified himself as a Democratic Socialist. Spence, you started this. Go ahead, name the names. 16 to go.
5) A pol who knew the difference: R.I.P. Stephen Minarik III, a New York State GOP political operative who served as state party chair from 2004 to 2006. According to his NYT obit [4-15-09], Minarik never yearned to be a candidate himself: "I love getting people elected. I never wanted to be elected myself. There is a huge difference between being a candidate and being an operative. A candidate is out front every day. He or she has to shake hands and smile. I don't have the personality for that."
6) Do Middle Eastern pols blame the Jinn? No doubt planning for some self-deluded political comeback, disgraced former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer (D) explained to Matt Lauer on the "Today" show [4-6-09] that he's been doing lots of introspection about his addiction to high-end call girls: "I've tried to think about it deeply, address it. There are no excuses. I have tried to address these gremlins, confront them." Let us know how that works out.
7) As Curly Howard once said to his brother Moe, "I try to think, but nothing happens!" Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was back in the news this week after it was revealed that her nomineee to be state Attorney General had in the past referred to gays as "degenerates," had defended a high-school student's art-project depiction of a Ku Klux Klansman, and had (alledgely) once opined that "If a guy can't rape his wife, who's he gonna rape?" Ya know, Sarah, it's not too late to start a career as a pageant mom.
8) Politics is supposed to be about give and take but mostly take: In the midst of defending his existential angst about taking some but not all of the federal stimulus funds designated for his state, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford told the NYT [4-4-09]: "I think the fatal flaw of a lot of people in politics is that they want to be loved. I sleep like a baby at night." Let's see how he's sleeping come 2012.
9) When men were men and journalists were CIA assets: Inexplicably, most news media ignored the passing of former journalist Tom Braden, 92, on April 3rd. A syndicated newspaper columnist, creature of Washington and former CIA official, Braden was the liberal counterpart to conservative Pat Buchanan on CNN's original version of "Crossfire" back in the early 1980s, before John McLaughlin taught everyone to start screaming on political talk shows. An original member of Nixon's "enemies list," Braden was Old School and there's just not enough of his generation around this town anymore.
10) Uncle Bob talks Uncle Sam: After opining to interviewer Bill Flanagan that "Politics is entertainment. It's a sport. It's for the well groomed and well heeled. The impeccably dressed. Party animals. Politicians are interchangeable," Bob Dylan went on to gush over President Barack Obama's life story, offering that "his mother was a Kansas girl....with deep roots. You know, like Kansas bloody Kansas. John Brown the insurrectionist. Jesse James and Quantrill. Bushwhackers, Guerillas. Wizard of Oz Kansas," and that Obama's father was "An African intellectual. Bantu, Masai, Griot type heritage - cattle raiders, lion killers." Thanks, Bob.
Friday, April 3, 2009
"Welcome to Washington," or, as Mr. Sinatra once said of another burg of hopes and dreams, "This town is a make-you-town, or a break-you-town..."
1) Somewhere, Lyndon is smiling: Writing in his WSJ column [4/2] Karl Rove reveals that he somehow thinks the term "new politics" doesn't include the word "politics." Rove is in a dither about the AP-reported anecdote in which Pres. Ob pulled Oregon Rep. Peter DeFazio aside in a "closed door" meeting and said, "Don't think we're not keeping score, brother." DeFazio had voted against the administration's stimulus bill. C'mon Karl, you know that keeping score is what this is all about.
2) People who give this town a bad name: The WP's too lengthy Style section profile of LegiStorm website creator Jock Friedly [4/2] waited until the very end to inadvertently reveal why this misguided soul thinks it's essential for the fate of the Republic that everyone in America know the salaries of every employee in Congress (along with their home addresses, info on their investments and what their spouses do for a living). Says Friedly, "Washington dirties people. They come to Capitol Hill wide-eyed and wanting to do the public good. Washington changes them." Hey, Elliot Ness, why don't you spend your time going after real crooks, like say the Sinaloa drug cartel? Let us know how it turns out.
3) Go Johnny Go: Having to explain yet again just what it is our members of Congress do, Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha tells the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: "If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district. My job as a member of Congress is to make sure that we take care of what we see is necessary. Not the bureaucrats who are unelected over there in whatever White House, whether it's Republican or Democrat. Those bureaucrats would like to control everything. Every president would like to have all the power and not have Congress change anything. But we're closest to the people." Murtha was responding in part to having been branded "One of the most corrupt members of Congress" by the "watchdog group" Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, who, at last count, has yet to get a highway paved or a bridge repaired.
4) What passes for political commentary these days: After making fun of the fact that Pres. Ob's Kenyan immigrant aunt (whose deportation has been delayed for a year) walks with a limp and a cane, cable talk show host Glenn Beck proceeded to instruct his listeners thus: "Don't hate Mexicans!" Ahh, Father Coughlin for the twitter generation.
5) Things they forget to teach you in political science class: A report released by the American Association for Public Opinion Research (and written by eleven pollsters and academics) concluded that that the polling that erroneously predicted that Sen. Barack Obama would win the 2008 New Hampshire Democratic presidential primary was wrong because the pollsters stopped surveying voters too early and thus did not capture last-minute changes in voter opinions. Oh, and yes, the fact that Hillary's name was near the top of the ballot and Barack's down towards the bottom may have had something to do with it too. Ballot position, people!
6) Madam, your black helicopter awaits! Although it's old news, we cannot overlook Minnesota GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann's ramblings on the March 25th edition of the Sean Hannity radio program in which she said: "Right now I'm a member of Congress. And I believe that my job here is to be a foreign correspondent, reporting from enemy lines." Illustrating once again that the difference between an opinion and an informed opinion is sometimes a gulf too insurmountable for some folks to cross.
7) Most insightful political reporting of the last two weeks: WSJ reporter Susan Davis, profiling the lay of the land for Sen. Arlen Specter's 2010 reelection fight [3/23], rightly points out that the central problem for the incumbent will be the GOP primary fight. After Democrats succeeded in getting 239,000 Republicans and independents to switch parties in order to vote in the 2008 Democratic presidential primary last spring, Specter now faces a smaller, much more conservative pool of voters for the 2010 GOP primary election. Facing a likely rematch from Club for Growth's Pat Toomey as well as perennial wingnut Peg Luksik, Specter really has to get a lot of folks to decide to become registered Republicans again, "even for just one day."
8) Meet the new GOP leadership: Bemoaning the Democrats' budget, GOP Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin opined: "We are spending like drunken sailors. Wait, I apologize to the drunken sailors of America for that comment." Paul, the joke been used like a thousand times by McC and look where it got him. It's over. It's like talking about Nintendo. Plus, for it to work you really have to have served in the U.S. Navy yourself.
9) Okay GOP, Newt basically says it's over: Former Speaker Gingrich: "If the Republicans can't break out of being the right wing party of big government, then I think you would see a third party movement in 2012." Quick, get me Admiral Stockdale!
10) Argentine Pres. Raul Alfonsin, R.I.P.: Raul Alfonsin, who upon being elected President of Argentina in 1983, led the investigation and ordered the prosecution of the military figures responsible for the murders of thousands during that country's dark days of dictatorship, has died at age 82. According to his WP obit, an Argentine Supreme Court Judge wrote last fall, "All of those who are holding a public post aspire to be able to walk in the streets afterwards without any problem. Alfonsin is the only ex-president who can walk the streets at ease." And, in the end, isn't that also what this is all about?
2) People who give this town a bad name: The WP's too lengthy Style section profile of LegiStorm website creator Jock Friedly [4/2] waited until the very end to inadvertently reveal why this misguided soul thinks it's essential for the fate of the Republic that everyone in America know the salaries of every employee in Congress (along with their home addresses, info on their investments and what their spouses do for a living). Says Friedly, "Washington dirties people. They come to Capitol Hill wide-eyed and wanting to do the public good. Washington changes them." Hey, Elliot Ness, why don't you spend your time going after real crooks, like say the Sinaloa drug cartel? Let us know how it turns out.
3) Go Johnny Go: Having to explain yet again just what it is our members of Congress do, Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha tells the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: "If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district. My job as a member of Congress is to make sure that we take care of what we see is necessary. Not the bureaucrats who are unelected over there in whatever White House, whether it's Republican or Democrat. Those bureaucrats would like to control everything. Every president would like to have all the power and not have Congress change anything. But we're closest to the people." Murtha was responding in part to having been branded "One of the most corrupt members of Congress" by the "watchdog group" Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, who, at last count, has yet to get a highway paved or a bridge repaired.
4) What passes for political commentary these days: After making fun of the fact that Pres. Ob's Kenyan immigrant aunt (whose deportation has been delayed for a year) walks with a limp and a cane, cable talk show host Glenn Beck proceeded to instruct his listeners thus: "Don't hate Mexicans!" Ahh, Father Coughlin for the twitter generation.
5) Things they forget to teach you in political science class: A report released by the American Association for Public Opinion Research (and written by eleven pollsters and academics) concluded that that the polling that erroneously predicted that Sen. Barack Obama would win the 2008 New Hampshire Democratic presidential primary was wrong because the pollsters stopped surveying voters too early and thus did not capture last-minute changes in voter opinions. Oh, and yes, the fact that Hillary's name was near the top of the ballot and Barack's down towards the bottom may have had something to do with it too. Ballot position, people!
6) Madam, your black helicopter awaits! Although it's old news, we cannot overlook Minnesota GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann's ramblings on the March 25th edition of the Sean Hannity radio program in which she said: "Right now I'm a member of Congress. And I believe that my job here is to be a foreign correspondent, reporting from enemy lines." Illustrating once again that the difference between an opinion and an informed opinion is sometimes a gulf too insurmountable for some folks to cross.
7) Most insightful political reporting of the last two weeks: WSJ reporter Susan Davis, profiling the lay of the land for Sen. Arlen Specter's 2010 reelection fight [3/23], rightly points out that the central problem for the incumbent will be the GOP primary fight. After Democrats succeeded in getting 239,000 Republicans and independents to switch parties in order to vote in the 2008 Democratic presidential primary last spring, Specter now faces a smaller, much more conservative pool of voters for the 2010 GOP primary election. Facing a likely rematch from Club for Growth's Pat Toomey as well as perennial wingnut Peg Luksik, Specter really has to get a lot of folks to decide to become registered Republicans again, "even for just one day."
8) Meet the new GOP leadership: Bemoaning the Democrats' budget, GOP Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin opined: "We are spending like drunken sailors. Wait, I apologize to the drunken sailors of America for that comment." Paul, the joke been used like a thousand times by McC and look where it got him. It's over. It's like talking about Nintendo. Plus, for it to work you really have to have served in the U.S. Navy yourself.
9) Okay GOP, Newt basically says it's over: Former Speaker Gingrich: "If the Republicans can't break out of being the right wing party of big government, then I think you would see a third party movement in 2012." Quick, get me Admiral Stockdale!
10) Argentine Pres. Raul Alfonsin, R.I.P.: Raul Alfonsin, who upon being elected President of Argentina in 1983, led the investigation and ordered the prosecution of the military figures responsible for the murders of thousands during that country's dark days of dictatorship, has died at age 82. According to his WP obit, an Argentine Supreme Court Judge wrote last fall, "All of those who are holding a public post aspire to be able to walk in the streets afterwards without any problem. Alfonsin is the only ex-president who can walk the streets at ease." And, in the end, isn't that also what this is all about?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Moral Indignation: Oh sweet nectar of politics
1) Please! There are children listening! Riffing off of Ross Perot's 17-year-old image of the dangers of NAFTA, Ohio Rep. Steve LaTourette (R) takes to the House floor to proclaim, "Today there's another sucking sound. The tightening of sphincters on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue." At least he didn't use a chart and pointer to illustrate his argument.
2) The Albert Camus of the GOP: House GOP leader John Boehner (R., Ohio) on where his folks stand now: "As I told my colleagues, we don't have enough votes to legislate. We are not in the majority. We are not kind-of in the minority; we are in a hole. They ought to get the idea out of their minds that they are legislators. But what they can be is communicators." Communicators from down in the hole? Huh? You mean like the kids who fall in the well? Why not just start talking about your collective dark night of the soul?
3) We don't go for that up in these parts: New Hampshire Sen. Judd Gregg (R) on the Obama Administration's idea of bypassing that bipartisanship thingy on health care legislation: "That would be the Chicago approch to governing: Strong-arm it through. You're talking about the exact opposite of bipartisanship. You're talking about running over the minority, putting them in cement and throwing them in the Chicago River." I think you're confusing Chicago with New Jersey. But hey, how do you do it up in New England? Take them ice fishing after the first thaw?
4) Desperate times call for better wisecracks: New Hampshire (again with New Hamphire? What's up with these guys?) Rep. Paul Hodes (D) really let A.I.G. CEO Edward Liddy have it this week, telling the witness at the House Financial Services Subcommittee hearing that "A.I.G. stands for Arrogance, Incompetence, and Greed." Why do we feel that you spent the entire time waiting to be called on to speak just praying that nobody else on the panel used that one? Whew! Bet he never saw that one coming.
5) Don't you love it when an election campaign comes gift wrapped? Sorry Gov. Paterson. We're sure you've heard that there's this crisis down on Wall Street and well, Attorney General Andy Cuomo is raising hell about it. And people really like that. So, you know, next year shouldn't come as a surprise, okay? [And you really know Cuomo is riding high when his only critic is former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who went on WNYC radio this week to say that the bonuses are merely "the flavor of the month." Dude, your political instincts are sharp as ever! Just leave the money on the table, okay?]
6) Worst caucus name ever: Either incredibly calculating or deeply hidden Ob Administration secret agent Sen. Evan Bayh (D., Indiana) goes on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" to announce that he is leading a group of 16 moderate Senate Democrats to foresee that things like spending don't get too far out of control. And that he's calling his group "the Practicality Caucus." Wasn't that one of the numbers in "The Pajama Game?" What, was "The Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Caucus" taken?
7) Hey everybody! There's a Senate race in Connecticut! Note to Chris Dodd: When did it all start to go wrong? Was it moving the whole family to Iowa two years back? Geez, who'd have thought we'd be hearing from Rob Simmons again so soon? And just for future reference, never stand in front of a microphone and begin a sentence with the words, "Had I known at the time.." 'cause nobody really listens to what comes next anyway.
8) Why Ross Thomas should be required reading before anybody gets in politics: Rep. Paul Kanjorski (D., Pennsylvania) summed up so much of this week's mess with the observation: "I'm sick and tired of hearing the administration and the Secretary of the Treasury say, 'I just found out about it.'" Things started to go downhill in American politics when folks ignored the importance of the guy [or gal] who used to be known as "the go-between." Tweets just don't do it.
9) Worst "Big New Idea" ever: Thankfully not everyone is really going to jump on Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold's (D) bandwagon to change the Constitution to require Senate vacancies to be filled only by elections. It's people like this who want to take out every bit of fun left in politics.
10) Introducing "The Taft Diet" The recent NYT piece on the new National Archives "Big!" exhibit [a collection of all that is large sized in American history] contains not only some anecdotes on our biggest President - 340-pound William Howard Taft - but also his own note about losing 70 pounds after he left office: "I have dropped potatoes entirely from my bill of fare and also bread in all forms." He stopped drinking and went on to observe that "Too much flesh is bad for any man." He would've been a great get for Chelsea Lately.
2) The Albert Camus of the GOP: House GOP leader John Boehner (R., Ohio) on where his folks stand now: "As I told my colleagues, we don't have enough votes to legislate. We are not in the majority. We are not kind-of in the minority; we are in a hole. They ought to get the idea out of their minds that they are legislators. But what they can be is communicators." Communicators from down in the hole? Huh? You mean like the kids who fall in the well? Why not just start talking about your collective dark night of the soul?
3) We don't go for that up in these parts: New Hampshire Sen. Judd Gregg (R) on the Obama Administration's idea of bypassing that bipartisanship thingy on health care legislation: "That would be the Chicago approch to governing: Strong-arm it through. You're talking about the exact opposite of bipartisanship. You're talking about running over the minority, putting them in cement and throwing them in the Chicago River." I think you're confusing Chicago with New Jersey. But hey, how do you do it up in New England? Take them ice fishing after the first thaw?
4) Desperate times call for better wisecracks: New Hampshire (again with New Hamphire? What's up with these guys?) Rep. Paul Hodes (D) really let A.I.G. CEO Edward Liddy have it this week, telling the witness at the House Financial Services Subcommittee hearing that "A.I.G. stands for Arrogance, Incompetence, and Greed." Why do we feel that you spent the entire time waiting to be called on to speak just praying that nobody else on the panel used that one? Whew! Bet he never saw that one coming.
5) Don't you love it when an election campaign comes gift wrapped? Sorry Gov. Paterson. We're sure you've heard that there's this crisis down on Wall Street and well, Attorney General Andy Cuomo is raising hell about it. And people really like that. So, you know, next year shouldn't come as a surprise, okay? [And you really know Cuomo is riding high when his only critic is former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who went on WNYC radio this week to say that the bonuses are merely "the flavor of the month." Dude, your political instincts are sharp as ever! Just leave the money on the table, okay?]
6) Worst caucus name ever: Either incredibly calculating or deeply hidden Ob Administration secret agent Sen. Evan Bayh (D., Indiana) goes on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" to announce that he is leading a group of 16 moderate Senate Democrats to foresee that things like spending don't get too far out of control. And that he's calling his group "the Practicality Caucus." Wasn't that one of the numbers in "The Pajama Game?" What, was "The Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Caucus" taken?
7) Hey everybody! There's a Senate race in Connecticut! Note to Chris Dodd: When did it all start to go wrong? Was it moving the whole family to Iowa two years back? Geez, who'd have thought we'd be hearing from Rob Simmons again so soon? And just for future reference, never stand in front of a microphone and begin a sentence with the words, "Had I known at the time.." 'cause nobody really listens to what comes next anyway.
8) Why Ross Thomas should be required reading before anybody gets in politics: Rep. Paul Kanjorski (D., Pennsylvania) summed up so much of this week's mess with the observation: "I'm sick and tired of hearing the administration and the Secretary of the Treasury say, 'I just found out about it.'" Things started to go downhill in American politics when folks ignored the importance of the guy [or gal] who used to be known as "the go-between." Tweets just don't do it.
9) Worst "Big New Idea" ever: Thankfully not everyone is really going to jump on Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold's (D) bandwagon to change the Constitution to require Senate vacancies to be filled only by elections. It's people like this who want to take out every bit of fun left in politics.
10) Introducing "The Taft Diet" The recent NYT piece on the new National Archives "Big!" exhibit [a collection of all that is large sized in American history] contains not only some anecdotes on our biggest President - 340-pound William Howard Taft - but also his own note about losing 70 pounds after he left office: "I have dropped potatoes entirely from my bill of fare and also bread in all forms." He stopped drinking and went on to observe that "Too much flesh is bad for any man." He would've been a great get for Chelsea Lately.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Pol is to Politics as Twit is to Twitter
1) Mikey, we hardly knew ye: How long before Grandmaster Steele reaches out to Bobby Brown? Really, the only way the RNC could be any more entertaining is if they had put Gary Busey in charge. Then they'd all be riding big choppers and attending ritual fire ceremonies. Hey, there's still time....
2) Best pop culture "grok" of politics this week: On this week's "Big Love" [HBO 3-8-09] Bill's American Indian business partner Jerry explains why the Western Utes have put the kibosh on their casino plans: "Welcome to the dirty world of tribal politics. We haven't been good with the Utes since the Blackfoot War of 1877. They're an arrogant treaty tribe. Not all of us had it handed to us on a silver platter." Proving again that politics is as all American as cherry pie. Sorry, Cardinal Richelieu.
3) "Ladies and gentlemen, P. T. Barnum lives!" The new "Man in Black" has the Grumpy Old Party runing scared. Or at least driving slowly past the car wreck and saying nothing. Rush, time to cover "Hurt." Really.
4) Well at least somebody found a theme: Sen. Richard Shelby, interviewed on ABC's "This Week" [3-8-09] first opined that "The American people don't trust the banks." Then, when asked about whether he'd be okay with the fall of Citibank, replied, "Well, whatever." Can you hear it, "The GOP, whatever, it's all good." Let the focus groups begin.
5) Never have so few talked so long about so little: Rick Santorum and Greta Van Sustern tackle the evils of earmarks [Fox 3-9-09]. Stunning in their lack of ability to comprehend what politics is all about. Obvious that neither ever had to get a bridge fixed. Really. Neither.
6) Best political writing of late: Richard Cohen on what's likely coming our way: "The rage that is coming will change the politics of our time. Barack Obama will either figure out how to channel it, as Franklin D. Roosevelt did, or he will be flattened by it, as Lyndon Johnson was. Obama's challenge might even be greater than FDR's." [NYDN 3-3-09]
7) Wealthy, famous, inexperienced candidate alert! The buzz that columnist Larry Kudlow may be considering a run against Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd next year. Larry, Larry, Larry. Sure, Dodd's a bit behind now but he does scream back and he's got the only Senate Committee chairmanship that really matters this cycle. Twenty months of roasting Wall Street on a spit will make him a new man. You just watch.
8) Here comes the political "Catcher in the Rye" Rod Blagojevich has garnered a six-figure-deal to spill everything about what his publicist terms "the dark side of politics." So I guess there's going to be a lot of stories about having to eat deep-fried candy bars and getting your wife's third-cousin a job. Am I right people?
9) The most entertaining 2010 U.S. Senate race continues: Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning continues to war against NRSC Chairman John Cornyn and fellow KTY Sen. Mitch McConnell, both of whom want him out of his reelection race. Says one GOP fundraiser interviewed by Politico [3-3-09], "The easiest way to get rid of [Bunning] is not give him any money." Well, yeah, except that he's obviously gone to ground and will be running this campaign from the bunker.
10) Advise and Consent: First the WP runs a pointless front-page story about the old FBI investigation into whether LBJ aide Jack Valenti was gay. Then the WSJ runs a story implicating LBJ press aide Bill Moyers' participation in the affair. Then Moyers writes a letter to the WSJ defending himself and alluding to his working in a Senate office building the day a gunshot rang out one floor above him as "a U.S. Senator comitted suicide over his son's outing." For those interested in political history, it was Wyoming Sen. Lester C. Hunt. Hunt's son had been arrrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover male police officer in Lafayette Square. The story goes that Republican senators blackmailed Hunt, forcing him to resign or have his son be outed in the press back home. Hunt was a Democrat and the Wyoming Gov. was a Republican. So Hunt brought a rifle into his Senate office and killed himself.
2) Best pop culture "grok" of politics this week: On this week's "Big Love" [HBO 3-8-09] Bill's American Indian business partner Jerry explains why the Western Utes have put the kibosh on their casino plans: "Welcome to the dirty world of tribal politics. We haven't been good with the Utes since the Blackfoot War of 1877. They're an arrogant treaty tribe. Not all of us had it handed to us on a silver platter." Proving again that politics is as all American as cherry pie. Sorry, Cardinal Richelieu.
3) "Ladies and gentlemen, P. T. Barnum lives!" The new "Man in Black" has the Grumpy Old Party runing scared. Or at least driving slowly past the car wreck and saying nothing. Rush, time to cover "Hurt." Really.
4) Well at least somebody found a theme: Sen. Richard Shelby, interviewed on ABC's "This Week" [3-8-09] first opined that "The American people don't trust the banks." Then, when asked about whether he'd be okay with the fall of Citibank, replied, "Well, whatever." Can you hear it, "The GOP, whatever, it's all good." Let the focus groups begin.
5) Never have so few talked so long about so little: Rick Santorum and Greta Van Sustern tackle the evils of earmarks [Fox 3-9-09]. Stunning in their lack of ability to comprehend what politics is all about. Obvious that neither ever had to get a bridge fixed. Really. Neither.
6) Best political writing of late: Richard Cohen on what's likely coming our way: "The rage that is coming will change the politics of our time. Barack Obama will either figure out how to channel it, as Franklin D. Roosevelt did, or he will be flattened by it, as Lyndon Johnson was. Obama's challenge might even be greater than FDR's." [NYDN 3-3-09]
7) Wealthy, famous, inexperienced candidate alert! The buzz that columnist Larry Kudlow may be considering a run against Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd next year. Larry, Larry, Larry. Sure, Dodd's a bit behind now but he does scream back and he's got the only Senate Committee chairmanship that really matters this cycle. Twenty months of roasting Wall Street on a spit will make him a new man. You just watch.
8) Here comes the political "Catcher in the Rye" Rod Blagojevich has garnered a six-figure-deal to spill everything about what his publicist terms "the dark side of politics." So I guess there's going to be a lot of stories about having to eat deep-fried candy bars and getting your wife's third-cousin a job. Am I right people?
9) The most entertaining 2010 U.S. Senate race continues: Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning continues to war against NRSC Chairman John Cornyn and fellow KTY Sen. Mitch McConnell, both of whom want him out of his reelection race. Says one GOP fundraiser interviewed by Politico [3-3-09], "The easiest way to get rid of [Bunning] is not give him any money." Well, yeah, except that he's obviously gone to ground and will be running this campaign from the bunker.
10) Advise and Consent: First the WP runs a pointless front-page story about the old FBI investigation into whether LBJ aide Jack Valenti was gay. Then the WSJ runs a story implicating LBJ press aide Bill Moyers' participation in the affair. Then Moyers writes a letter to the WSJ defending himself and alluding to his working in a Senate office building the day a gunshot rang out one floor above him as "a U.S. Senator comitted suicide over his son's outing." For those interested in political history, it was Wyoming Sen. Lester C. Hunt. Hunt's son had been arrrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover male police officer in Lafayette Square. The story goes that Republican senators blackmailed Hunt, forcing him to resign or have his son be outed in the press back home. Hunt was a Democrat and the Wyoming Gov. was a Republican. So Hunt brought a rifle into his Senate office and killed himself.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Anyone equating the Stimulus with "the Soviet grain quotas of Stalin's time" will never get to be a Stimdog Billionaire.
1) I knew they should have gone with that "Wow Towel" guy: Note to Bobby J., next time you address the nation do not assume the body posture of Andy Kaufman's "Latka" character from "Taxi." You spoke like someone else had control of your mind. Oh wait, I guess they did.
2) If I stay there will be trouble....: Two things are pretty obvious at this point in the Roland Burris saga. First, never send Dick Durbin to muscle anybody. Second, Burris must be holding the Immunity Idol. It's the only thing that makes sense.
3) Maybe they'll start dating: In what's shaping up as potentionally the most entertaining Senate race of the 2010 cycle, both Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council and porn star Stormy Daniels are reportedly interested in running in the GOP primary against incumbent Louisiana Sen. David Vitter. If things keep going this way, one day soon TMZ will rule this town too.
4) Flash! T.R. spins in grave! While promoting his new tome, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the America Dream," Samuel J. Wurzelbacker (i.e. "Joe") makes his second recent stop in D.C. to speak about all things conservative. In response to a question from Politico about the possibility of his running for a House seat, Joe said, "If I became a congressman I would literally bang people's heads together and probably get in a lot of trouble." [Insert Moe Howard reference here.]
5) You can't Google institutional memory: West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd came out swinging at the Obama Administration this week, charging that their plans to create various policy "czar" positions in the White House "can threaten the Consitutional system of checks and balances. At the worst, White House staff have taken direction and control of programmatic areas that are the statutory responsibility of Senate-confirmed officials." Scoff if you must but once he goes, there goes the Chamber's last link to the Roman Senate - and the last person to understand why that matters. But we will still have plenty of folks who Twitter. Oh goody.
6) Profiles in Courage 2009: Minnesota's GOP Governor Tim Pawlenty agrees with others in his party who have criticized the president's stimulus package, calling it a "meandering spending buffet." However, as he told the WP, he is "going to accept the money" on behalf of his state because, "For many Republicans, it's not our bill, but it is now the law..."
7) A politician without a clue is a former politician: In this week's case of yet another politician who "didn't know it was a racial stereotype," Los Alamitos, California, Mayor Dean Grose apologized for sending out an e-mail photo which depicted the White House lawn as a watermelon patch. And Mr. Mayor, BTW, in case you also didn't know, a stereotype does not refer to "SONY."
8) Alert to political history buffs: As to all this "twittering" that went on in the chamber during the President's speech to the joint session this week, does anybody remember Hubert H. sitting there playing with an Etch A Sketch while LBJ was talking? Dana Milbank in his WP column reports on Texas Rep. John Culberson (R) doing a pre-speech live streaming video on Qik.com using his camera phone and then breathlessly assuring his audience that "I'll do one more broadcast and then I will tweet from the floor." Where are we headed, people?
9) Why business success rarely equals political success, Volume 46: Former chief executive of eBay, Meg Whitman (she of the pointless and dull 2008 GOP Convention speech), says that she is running for governor of California in 2010. She told the NYT, "I'm pretty convinced that the next governor of California is going to have to plant herself in Sacramento 24/7, 365 days a year. It's going to require listening, understanding policy alternatives, and building collaboration and relationships that allow the state to move forward. It's another eBay." No, it's not. It's really not. Somebody tell her now. Please.
10) On the other hand: There's money. There's real money. There's Stimulus money. And then there's Bloomberg money. As the New York Post reports, New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg intends to begin his reelection TV spots "well before May 18," the date on which he started running spots during his 2005 reelection campaign. That year he spent $1 million a week on TV spots alone. This year he's also set to open "nearly two dozen campaign offices around the five boroughs as early as April." Yo Mike! When can we get some of that, ya know, walkin' around money, ya know?"
2) If I stay there will be trouble....: Two things are pretty obvious at this point in the Roland Burris saga. First, never send Dick Durbin to muscle anybody. Second, Burris must be holding the Immunity Idol. It's the only thing that makes sense.
3) Maybe they'll start dating: In what's shaping up as potentionally the most entertaining Senate race of the 2010 cycle, both Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council and porn star Stormy Daniels are reportedly interested in running in the GOP primary against incumbent Louisiana Sen. David Vitter. If things keep going this way, one day soon TMZ will rule this town too.
4) Flash! T.R. spins in grave! While promoting his new tome, "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the America Dream," Samuel J. Wurzelbacker (i.e. "Joe") makes his second recent stop in D.C. to speak about all things conservative. In response to a question from Politico about the possibility of his running for a House seat, Joe said, "If I became a congressman I would literally bang people's heads together and probably get in a lot of trouble." [Insert Moe Howard reference here.]
5) You can't Google institutional memory: West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd came out swinging at the Obama Administration this week, charging that their plans to create various policy "czar" positions in the White House "can threaten the Consitutional system of checks and balances. At the worst, White House staff have taken direction and control of programmatic areas that are the statutory responsibility of Senate-confirmed officials." Scoff if you must but once he goes, there goes the Chamber's last link to the Roman Senate - and the last person to understand why that matters. But we will still have plenty of folks who Twitter. Oh goody.
6) Profiles in Courage 2009: Minnesota's GOP Governor Tim Pawlenty agrees with others in his party who have criticized the president's stimulus package, calling it a "meandering spending buffet." However, as he told the WP, he is "going to accept the money" on behalf of his state because, "For many Republicans, it's not our bill, but it is now the law..."
7) A politician without a clue is a former politician: In this week's case of yet another politician who "didn't know it was a racial stereotype," Los Alamitos, California, Mayor Dean Grose apologized for sending out an e-mail photo which depicted the White House lawn as a watermelon patch. And Mr. Mayor, BTW, in case you also didn't know, a stereotype does not refer to "SONY."
8) Alert to political history buffs: As to all this "twittering" that went on in the chamber during the President's speech to the joint session this week, does anybody remember Hubert H. sitting there playing with an Etch A Sketch while LBJ was talking? Dana Milbank in his WP column reports on Texas Rep. John Culberson (R) doing a pre-speech live streaming video on Qik.com using his camera phone and then breathlessly assuring his audience that "I'll do one more broadcast and then I will tweet from the floor." Where are we headed, people?
9) Why business success rarely equals political success, Volume 46: Former chief executive of eBay, Meg Whitman (she of the pointless and dull 2008 GOP Convention speech), says that she is running for governor of California in 2010. She told the NYT, "I'm pretty convinced that the next governor of California is going to have to plant herself in Sacramento 24/7, 365 days a year. It's going to require listening, understanding policy alternatives, and building collaboration and relationships that allow the state to move forward. It's another eBay." No, it's not. It's really not. Somebody tell her now. Please.
10) On the other hand: There's money. There's real money. There's Stimulus money. And then there's Bloomberg money. As the New York Post reports, New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg intends to begin his reelection TV spots "well before May 18," the date on which he started running spots during his 2005 reelection campaign. That year he spent $1 million a week on TV spots alone. This year he's also set to open "nearly two dozen campaign offices around the five boroughs as early as April." Yo Mike! When can we get some of that, ya know, walkin' around money, ya know?"
Friday, February 20, 2009
"The Chair recognizes the distinguished gentleman from Ponzi Land"
1) Hey Mikey! Way to build that big tent! Newly minted RNC chief Michael Steele says that the GOP needs "to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets." Get me Matt Roloff! Stat! (And just what does "uptick" mean, exactly?)
2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.
3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.
4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."
5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.
6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.
7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....
8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.
9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."
10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]
2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.
3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.
4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."
5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.
6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.
7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....
8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.
9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."
10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
"'Partisan' & 'Politics' go together like two peas in a pod, Jenny."
1) "Whoopi, I tell ya, I'm feelin' more and more like a minority myself!" Just who is counseling Blago these days? Positioning yourself as the "anti-Nixon" and saying "Play the tapes!" ain't bad when you're in a ditch. Of course, after citing Mandela, Dr. King and the Mahatma, he reportedly went on to mention "Ray Milland, Aleister Crowley, Dylan Thomas, Che, Walt Whitman, Keith Moon, James Dean, Sonny Corleone, Allen Ginsburg, Carrot Top and Gummo Marx."
2) "Where is the girl I used to know?" After too many days of mindless cable news punditry about the whole Caroline K. fiasco, social commentator Artie Lange gets it all in one succinct sentence: "She is not good at the game 'cause she never played the game." [The Howard Stern Show 1-22-09]
3) From the "Hey! Didn't you used to be somebody?" Dept. : Former Rep. Dick Armey, moments before personally insulting Salon's Joan Walsh on MSNBC's "Hardball [1-28-09]," defined "this thing of ours" thus: "Politics is juvenile delinquency....Don't let politics define anything. It's silly, inane." Dickster, leave yourself out of this!
4) "Of course, Lord Vader. At once, Lord Vader." When it comes to looking like a quisling, you just can't beat Georgia GOP Rep. Phil Gingrey's bowing and begging for Rush Limbaugh's forgiveness. Don't worry Phil, he had no idea who you were two days ago, and he's not hoping you fail.
5) Can you say "contested primary?" Note to Gov. Dave P.: If someone invites you "up to the Vineyard," just say you're busy. We hear that's the last invite Judge Crater got.
6) Voices of Reason (yes, it's a short list): Former GOP Rep. J. C. Watts, quoted in this week's E.J. Dionne column [WP 1-26-09], cautioning his former Republican House mates on their approach to the new Administration: "Be careful how you throw eggs at this parade."
7) Hey Trotsky! Lighten up, dude. The Daily Kos' Markos Moulitsas goes after Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine for taking the DNC chair while remaining governor: "Running a party should be a full-time job, and anything less than that is not giving the job what it deserves." Something tells us that long before you were even born, there were guys (and gals) holding office, running the party, making a living and whatever else had to be done. Not a problem. Really. It's okay.
8) Yeah, I guess he was right: Eliot Cohen's thoughtful piece on government and punditry in last week's WSJ [1-23-09] begins: "'You become a political scientist,' a beloved teacher of mine once said, 'because you're either afraid of power, or fascinated by it.'"
9) Things you don't hear in Washington: Ms. Oprah (I could be a Senator if I wanted to but, I don't want to) Winfrey, to her television show guests the day before the Inauguration: "Don't we all feel like we are sort of vibrating?" "It's buzzing," offered Ashton Kutcher. "I'm shaking," said wife Demi.
10) Let's hope we never hear these three names in the same sentence again: According to political history scribes at the WP [1-22 & 1-23-09], President Obama now becomes the seventh president to have re-taken the oath of office for some reason or another. Also on the list, "Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur."
2) "Where is the girl I used to know?" After too many days of mindless cable news punditry about the whole Caroline K. fiasco, social commentator Artie Lange gets it all in one succinct sentence: "She is not good at the game 'cause she never played the game." [The Howard Stern Show 1-22-09]
3) From the "Hey! Didn't you used to be somebody?" Dept. : Former Rep. Dick Armey, moments before personally insulting Salon's Joan Walsh on MSNBC's "Hardball [1-28-09]," defined "this thing of ours" thus: "Politics is juvenile delinquency....Don't let politics define anything. It's silly, inane." Dickster, leave yourself out of this!
4) "Of course, Lord Vader. At once, Lord Vader." When it comes to looking like a quisling, you just can't beat Georgia GOP Rep. Phil Gingrey's bowing and begging for Rush Limbaugh's forgiveness. Don't worry Phil, he had no idea who you were two days ago, and he's not hoping you fail.
5) Can you say "contested primary?" Note to Gov. Dave P.: If someone invites you "up to the Vineyard," just say you're busy. We hear that's the last invite Judge Crater got.
6) Voices of Reason (yes, it's a short list): Former GOP Rep. J. C. Watts, quoted in this week's E.J. Dionne column [WP 1-26-09], cautioning his former Republican House mates on their approach to the new Administration: "Be careful how you throw eggs at this parade."
7) Hey Trotsky! Lighten up, dude. The Daily Kos' Markos Moulitsas goes after Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine for taking the DNC chair while remaining governor: "Running a party should be a full-time job, and anything less than that is not giving the job what it deserves." Something tells us that long before you were even born, there were guys (and gals) holding office, running the party, making a living and whatever else had to be done. Not a problem. Really. It's okay.
8) Yeah, I guess he was right: Eliot Cohen's thoughtful piece on government and punditry in last week's WSJ [1-23-09] begins: "'You become a political scientist,' a beloved teacher of mine once said, 'because you're either afraid of power, or fascinated by it.'"
9) Things you don't hear in Washington: Ms. Oprah (I could be a Senator if I wanted to but, I don't want to) Winfrey, to her television show guests the day before the Inauguration: "Don't we all feel like we are sort of vibrating?" "It's buzzing," offered Ashton Kutcher. "I'm shaking," said wife Demi.
10) Let's hope we never hear these three names in the same sentence again: According to political history scribes at the WP [1-22 & 1-23-09], President Obama now becomes the seventh president to have re-taken the oath of office for some reason or another. Also on the list, "Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur."
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Even Richard Nixon has got soul" - from Neil Young's "Campaigner"
1) So long, it's been (somethin', somethin') to know you... Geez Georgie, there you were surrounded by staff and family, explaining the last eight years, and no sooner do you finish then ABC starts running an episode of "Scrubs." Ouch. It was almost like it didn't happen. Hey Georgie, when things calm down we'll catch up for lunch, okay. You take care now, Georgie.
2) "Here's a little ditty by a young dude named Yeats and it goes like this..." Blago Agonistes. C'mon, face it, you all know he's only guilty of one thing - political malpractice. Or, as former Louisiana Gov. Earl Long put it: "Don't write anything you can phone, don't phone anything you can talk face to face, don't talk anything you can smile, don't smile anything you can wink and don't wink anything you can nod." [Hey Mr. Prosecutor, good luck with that whole "jury of his peers" thing.]
3) Chauncey Gardiner goes to Washington (again): Seventy-one-year-old Roland Burris comes to town, stays cool, stares down his fellow Democrats, stays on message, and wins. Hey Harry Reid, we got your post-racial politics right here! Burris for Senate 2010.
4) Wasn't it called "Andersonville?" Conservative talking head Larry Schweikart, author of "48 Liberal Lies," on Fox 1-13-09: "If there was a Gitmo in his time, [President Abraham] Lincoln would not have shut it."
5) Pearls of Washington Wisdom #485: Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey explaining what it's like to be in the minority party in the Senate: "The chairman [of a committee] - especially with 58 to 59 in the voting caucus - drives the car and chooses the destination. The ranking [minority member] rides shotgun on a good day. On a bad day, he or she is in a carpool with the chairman's staff." [Wash. Post 1-13-09]
6) Forget "Political Science," let's just start calling it "Political Math": Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel to the RNC, explains a contested election: "The position of candidates in disputed elections depends on whether one is perceived as ahead or behind in the vote count. The tactic of someone who is ahead is to declare victory and create an air of inevitability. The tactic of someone behind is to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the opponent's claim." [Wash. Post 1-7-09]
7) Worst campaign slogan of the year so far: Terry McAuliffe's anouncement that he would be running for Governor of Virginia included the words "Yes, we can do it again this year."
8) R.I.P. former Rhode Island Sen. Claiborne Pell, at age 90: Diplomat, investment banker and wise old pol. A man from another time, back when you could truthfully utter the words, "I yield to the gentleman from Rhode Island." Looking back on his 1960 race for the Senate decades later, Pell recounted, "My opponent called me a cream puff...Well, I rushed out and got the bakers' union to endorse me."
9) From the "What passes for political commentary these days" Department: This whole Ann Coulter "thing" - Since when does anyone have to get their nose rubbed in the marketplace of ideas by someone who's never even gotten a street paved? Whatever happened to good old fashioned shunning? Quick, Food Channel, give her a cooking show!
10) What Lyndon knew and when he knew it: From the LBJ tapes archive [CBS News 12-4-08], the President calls VP Hubert Humphrey and urges him to pick Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye as his 1968 running mate: "He answers Vietnam with that empty sleeve. He answers your problems with Nixon with that empty sleeve. He has that brown face...The South can't get mad at him because he's colored. And he would appeal to every other minority because he is one." HHH replied that the move would, well, "I guess maybe it just takes me a little bit too far, too fast."
2) "Here's a little ditty by a young dude named Yeats and it goes like this..." Blago Agonistes. C'mon, face it, you all know he's only guilty of one thing - political malpractice. Or, as former Louisiana Gov. Earl Long put it: "Don't write anything you can phone, don't phone anything you can talk face to face, don't talk anything you can smile, don't smile anything you can wink and don't wink anything you can nod." [Hey Mr. Prosecutor, good luck with that whole "jury of his peers" thing.]
3) Chauncey Gardiner goes to Washington (again): Seventy-one-year-old Roland Burris comes to town, stays cool, stares down his fellow Democrats, stays on message, and wins. Hey Harry Reid, we got your post-racial politics right here! Burris for Senate 2010.
4) Wasn't it called "Andersonville?" Conservative talking head Larry Schweikart, author of "48 Liberal Lies," on Fox 1-13-09: "If there was a Gitmo in his time, [President Abraham] Lincoln would not have shut it."
5) Pearls of Washington Wisdom #485: Former Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey explaining what it's like to be in the minority party in the Senate: "The chairman [of a committee] - especially with 58 to 59 in the voting caucus - drives the car and chooses the destination. The ranking [minority member] rides shotgun on a good day. On a bad day, he or she is in a carpool with the chairman's staff." [Wash. Post 1-13-09]
6) Forget "Political Science," let's just start calling it "Political Math": Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel to the RNC, explains a contested election: "The position of candidates in disputed elections depends on whether one is perceived as ahead or behind in the vote count. The tactic of someone who is ahead is to declare victory and create an air of inevitability. The tactic of someone behind is to cast doubt on the legitimacy of the opponent's claim." [Wash. Post 1-7-09]
7) Worst campaign slogan of the year so far: Terry McAuliffe's anouncement that he would be running for Governor of Virginia included the words "Yes, we can do it again this year."
8) R.I.P. former Rhode Island Sen. Claiborne Pell, at age 90: Diplomat, investment banker and wise old pol. A man from another time, back when you could truthfully utter the words, "I yield to the gentleman from Rhode Island." Looking back on his 1960 race for the Senate decades later, Pell recounted, "My opponent called me a cream puff...Well, I rushed out and got the bakers' union to endorse me."
9) From the "What passes for political commentary these days" Department: This whole Ann Coulter "thing" - Since when does anyone have to get their nose rubbed in the marketplace of ideas by someone who's never even gotten a street paved? Whatever happened to good old fashioned shunning? Quick, Food Channel, give her a cooking show!
10) What Lyndon knew and when he knew it: From the LBJ tapes archive [CBS News 12-4-08], the President calls VP Hubert Humphrey and urges him to pick Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye as his 1968 running mate: "He answers Vietnam with that empty sleeve. He answers your problems with Nixon with that empty sleeve. He has that brown face...The South can't get mad at him because he's colored. And he would appeal to every other minority because he is one." HHH replied that the move would, well, "I guess maybe it just takes me a little bit too far, too fast."
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