"The Chair recognizes the distinguished gentleman from Ponzi Land"

1) Hey Mikey! Way to build that big tent! Newly minted RNC chief Michael Steele says that the GOP needs "to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets." Get me Matt Roloff! Stat! (And just what does "uptick" mean, exactly?)

2) Do you think Winnie would ever Twitter? According to a profile of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Virginia) in this week's WP [2-16-09], he "is studying Winston Churhill's role leading the Tories in the late 1930s, a principled minority that was eventually catapulted into power over the Labor Party." Of course we assume he's following the daily alcohol regimen as well or else he's missing the whole point.

3) They sure is! Big Brain Team of Rivals II dude Sir Lawrence Summers to the NYT [2-17-09]: "Politics are hard to predict." Not really. Just think of the word as a verb and realize that at least half the time it's headed straight for you.

4) Words of Wisdom from Big John: Longest-serving-House-member-in-history Rep. John Dingell (Michigan) told the NYT [2-9-09] "I'm not one who thinks Washington is an evil place. Bad people do bad things here, but they do them everywhere." And, "The curse of this business is that they'll primarily remember you for how long you were here, rather than for what you did."

5) Val Kilmer to run for New Mexico Governor: Just remember Val, campaign like Jim Morrison but govern like Bruce Wayne. No wait, campaign like the guy in Heat and govern like the guy in Wonderland. Better yet, buy up all the copies of The Salton Sea. Hey dude, you just don't need the hassle.

6) Dangerous ideas heard in Washington: Texas GOP Rep. Jeb Hensarling on the prospects of his party coming back: "If you get the principles right in the first place....the politics will take care of itself." [WP 2-9-09] Huhhhh????? Psst! Hey, over here. I got some voter lists to sell you....Really, nobody's seen these. I'll give you a good price.

7) Memo to Judd Gregg: Just for fun, why don't you get all dressed up and get a briefcase and just show up at the Commerce Department next week. You know, like just say, "I'm reporting for work. Can someone show me to my office?" It'll be a scream, I tell you. Unless of course you've changed your mind again....

8) Best Soap Opera of the 2010 cycle so far: Kentucky GOP Sen. Jim Bunning continuing to insist that he's running for reelection while everyone around him says he shouldn't. After NRSC Chair John Cornyn tells the press he' still not sure what Bunning's doing, Bunning tells Politico that Cornyn is "either deaf or he doesn't listen very well." Highly entertaining.

9) This thing of ours: Testifying during his fraud trial this month, former Pennsylvania State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo, a political maestro who lived and breathed politics for more than 30 years, tried to explain that political work can be all encompassing: "I never, ever thought in my wildest imagination would someone ask me, did I keep a log of when did I talk politically, when did I talk personally. Maybe it's good that I resigned because I would not know how to live under that standard today."

10) What YouTube teaches us: Drop what you are doing, go to YouTube, type in "Nixon Archie Bunker" and listen to Nixon, Ehrlichman and Haldeman in the Oval Office on May 13, 1971. The subject matter is an episode of "All in the Family." Nixon describes watching an episode for the first time, thinking that it was a movie. Both aides explain the show's premise to their boss and you hear the one-time leader of the free world say, "Arch is the guy's name," and opine that he is pretty sure that Arch's son-in-law "goes both ways." It is riveting and explains oh so much. [Thanks to the brilliant Norm MacDonald for the heads up on this.]