Politics: Why Chaos Theory always works

1) Political Play of the Week: To David Axelrod for putting the Edwards endorsement announcement right before the evening news on the day after West Virginia. Does it give Barack NC? No. But it did what it was intended to do - change the subject in a big way.

2) On using the Bully Pulpit to lead by example. You gave up golf in solidarity with the troops? Wow. Okay, so I guess that means we should follow your lead, sir. No Halo 3 during work and absolutely no Guitar Hero after 8 p.m. But can we still see Niko Bellic on the weekends? This sacrifice stuff hurts. Don't know how you can possibly endure it, sir.

3) Post-modern political analysis rears its ugly head again: MSNBC's "Hardball" 7 p.m. EST 5-14-08, Chris Matthews to Pat Buchanan on the Edwards endorsement: "Pat Buchanan! That's sort of like getting it from the back, there!" And you're going to run for the U.S. Senate with that mouth? We can hardly wait.

4) From the "No more questions!" Department: Vito Fossella to Guy Molinari last week, on hearing that the party was talking about potential candidates to replace him in a special election when he resigns: "What's this all about?" Earth to Vito. But you know, on second thought, he should probably stay put. The party just can't afford to lose another special. I know, you're screaming, "Not in Staten Island!" But I bet the NRCC would still have to spend some bucks on it.

5) Bob Barr knows something we don't. Okay, so Bob's probably a lock for the Libertarian Party. You know, those are the ones whose party convention looks like a giant infomercial audience. But the word "Party" always begs the question: How many ward leaders do you have? Also, have you ever paved roads or moved trash? I guess I'm being petty.

6) It Ain't Her, Babe: It boggles the mind what passes for political commentary these days. Camille Paglia, [really, will the '80s never end?????] writing on Salon.com, 5-14-08, on HRC: "who won't stop her manic tarantella until her party whirls into ruins, like the run-amuck carousel in Alfred Hitchcok's "Strangers on a Train." Sounds great. Means nothing. First, I believe it's always been more "Twist and Shout." Second, as to which party is currently whirling into ruin, take Connie Corleone's advice: "Read the papers! Read the papers!"

7) Mississippi 1st CD Special Election: Attention House GOP: Head for the hills! If it was a horror movie, the audience would be screaming at the Grand Old Party to stop sending its people into the dark basement to check out those noises. None of them are coming back up! At this rate come the fall the DCCC will be offering (on their dime) to fly VP Cheney anywhere in the country to campaign for incumbent GOP reps.

8) Sen. Arlen Specter investigates the Patriots: [Insert "Magic Bullet Theory" joke here] That's the way to use your office to get even on the personal level, Senator. Hope that investigation doesn't touch your Eagles. And by the way, was that the sound of the NFL checkbook coming out for Chris Matthews?

9) McCain Can't Recall 2000 Vote: People say lots of things at parties. Mark Salter calling Arianna "a flake and a poser and an attention-seeking diva." Well, yeah, what's your point? The bigger question - Does Cindy McCain have more money than God? This Bud's for you, Cindy.

10) Ron Paulites plotting for convention shenanigans: Look kids, all ol' Ron wants is a prime time slot to address America about that ever-pressing question, "The Gold Standard." At which point millions of remotes switch to "Rock of Love 3" "Oh, Brett......"