Vote early and vote often

1) Politics 103: When defining your opponent, remember to pick a metaphor, symbol or image and just stick with it: Now McC has settled on calling Ob "the redistributor." Hey, is that something under the hood? I think mine is loose. Hey! The wheels came off my narrative! Quick, change the McC campaign theme to "I got a foggy notion." Lou Reed will never know.

2) He can be whatever you want him to be this time around: In response to Chris Matthews asking if he thought Obama was a "Marxist," former Texas Rep. Tom DeLay gave the kind of weak affirmative response that suggested he would have said "yes" had Matthews asked if he thought Obama was really a "Martian." In fact, maybe that's what he heard.

3) When do they "go to ground?" First a McC staffer complains that Gov. Sarah is "going rogue." Then former Bushite, Peter Wehner [WP 10-22-08] suggests that on the run GOP politicians have "gone native." Is this an election or a failed intelligence operation? Who's in charge of "walking back the cat" come Nov. 5th?

4) They can't both be right, can they????!!!! First the GOP House and Senate candidates begin to push the argument that you've got to send them back to Washington to prevent "one party rule." Then McC argues that he must win to prevent "one party rule." It's getting crowded under that bus. Note to McC: Stop calling Obama, [Nancy] Pelosi and [Harry] Reid "a dangerous threesome." When people hear that term they think Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty and Gary Busey. Meet them on your MySpace page.

5) Folks who really are on the "pay-no-mind list": Ralph Nader announced this week that he has set a new record for the most campaign speches delivered in a single day. According to Ralphie Boy, he has delivered 255 minutes of speeches in 21 Massachusetts towns all on the same day. Geez, that's great Ralphie, great. Now, how many Coney Island dogs can you eat in one sitting? And hey, what have you been up to lately?

6) Why Washington gets a bad name: From a WP "Style" section piece [10-26-08] on "How Washinton Plays the Shame Game," suggesting that "It really is hard to know everything you're supposed to know here in a town that incessantly name-drops and bill-drops and amendment-drops, where even the wonkiest among us can be outwonked." Among its anecdotes, a young woman embarassed by meeting a congresswoman who informs her: "I am a congresswoman from your home state. You should know who I am." Oh really??? In the old days, that faux pas would have been your fault congresswoman. You know, not doing a very good job of getting yourself well known and all.

7) The 2008 "Don't play with me or you're playin' with fire" Award for Political Advertising: Goes to North Carolina State Sen. Kay Hagan for her quick retort to U.S. Sen. Elizabeth Dole's TV spot suggesting that Hagan takes money from atheists and believes 'There is no god." In her response, Hagan counters that "I believe in God," has taught Sunday School and that her campaign is about 'creating jobs...not bearing false witness against fellow Christians." Ouch! Hey Liddy, maybe you should have run that one by Bob first.

8) Worst Closing Presidential Television Spot of 2008: To McC for his parade of "normal" folk all proclaiming, face to the camera, "I'm Joe the Plumber." "I'm Spartacus!" this ain't. Not in resonance nor in (gulp) nobility of purpose. Just juvenile yapping. Hey, where's our book and record deals??!!! Hey, why not just go the Reinhold Niebuhr route, you know, "First they came for Joe the Plumber......."

9) MAAAA!!!! We're workin' down here!!!!!!!!: Moments after Ob delivers his 30-minute "closer" spectacular, Bill O'Reilly and Dennis Miller spend the next 15 minutes arguing over the Sarah Palin doll hanging in effigy on the front porch of a West Hollywood home's Halloween display. Says Miller, "West LA is a tricky place." Yeah, well, there's no need to get graphic here.

10) Roger Clinton, call your office: According to the Washington Post [10-26-08], McC's younger brother Joe, 66, apologized for cursing at a 911 dispatcher after being caught up in a traffic jam on a local bridge. Earlier in October, while out on the campaign trail for his brother, he referred to Virginia's Northern, Alexandria and Arlington Counties as "Communist country."